i love it when they call me britpoppa

2005-05-26T13:19:00.000-04:00

britpoppa's gone on sabbatical. get your gossip from us at the bosh.

2005-05-18T16:54:00.000-04:00

we have to hand it to you guys. you managed to name nearly every skinny starlet under the sun in britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. one of you even guessed yourself (good one). but a number of you called mischa barton, way to go. sometimes her disproportionately large - though quite sexy - hips and bum, throw us off and we forget that the rest of her is stick thin.

a couple of savvy livejournal britpoppa fans did some deductive reasoning to land at the right gal. "Nicole Ritchie is my guess! There aren't any freckles, so it cannot be Lohan," one said. to which the other responded, "Not Ritchie since she's got tattoo's on her back too." "Oh, then I'd opt for Mischa Barton in that case," said the first. it looks like we have some junior detectives in our midst. watch out, carmen sandiego.

wrong guesses: keira knightley, lindsay lohan, katie holmes, selma blair, nicole richie, jessica simpson, leathernad

2005-05-18T11:19:00.000-04:00

we spy a cheap trick fan. renee zellweger (in her first photo since getting hitched) proves that no matter how skinny you are, you can still have a double chin.

liv tyler and milo are so sweet. there's nothing better than a cute baby.

lindsay lohan has been heinously co-opting the boho style of sienna miller since she went blonde. and she's not the only one. check out jessica simpson's blatant theft here.

what's up with jennifer garner? is she like the most boring celebrity in the world or what? we know, we should find her strong-hearted resolve to stay normal in the midst of hollywood duplicity charming, but it just annoys us. throw on proenza schouler instead of the patagonia once in a while.

2005-05-17T10:51:00.000-04:00

britpoppa needs a refresher. we're getting stale. and we're just one of many these days. we know it's asking a lot to get some reader feedback in the age of undying apathy, but we could use your comments. what could we do to make britpoppa more fun? what do you like about us? what does britpoppa do that makes you groan? why do you come to us when trent, perez and dana are on the scene? any suggestions you could provide would be greatly appreciated. we're feeling jaded and britpoppa may be on its last legs if we don't do something soon. we apologise for our earnestness. thanks.

2005-05-16T12:29:00.000-04:00

in these days of the shrinking starlet, it's no surprise to see actresses copying mary-kate olsen's physique as well as her fashion sense. so which celeb's bony back is this? post your guesses in the comments section and come back wednesday for the answer.

2005-05-16T11:55:00.000-04:00

jennifer garner's finally showing off the rock that ben affleck bought her for their shotgun wedding. is that thing cushion cut? eww, gag me with a fork.

jake gyllenhaal's been sowing his oats all over town. first he was filling up maria with his grace, then he went all "sex and the city" and became a modelizer with daria werbowy, and now he's sticking it to little miss stick thin herself, lindsay lohan. looks like someone's trying to dodge those recent gay rumors.

we have to admit, natalie portman looked pretty cute with her shaved head at cannes the other day. but we can't say we enjoy it as much as she seems to.

yea! arrested development is coming back. we don't know what we'd do without gob.

since full throttle didn't wow 'em at the box office, we now present charlie's latest angels. all brittany murphy needs is her own mtv reality show.

dave chappelle explains his mental breakdown.

the paparazzi are claiming that gwen stefani is pregnant. yup, that stomach is certainly bulging. if gwen's not pregnant, she must be on the kirstie alley diet.

everyone should lay off prince harry for that nazi incident. he was just imitating elvis.

we wonder if tom cruise knows about katie holmes's fugtacular feet. things are getting pretty "serious" between them. she's met his kids; he's meeting her parents. while we're certainly wary about this couple's credibility, if the cruise connection helped knock sienna miller off factory girl, we're all for it.

2005-05-12T16:03:00.000-04:00

we're so stoked: bitchy mcbitcherson was relieved from her role as edie sedgwick in factory girl. she never deserved that part anyway. again, we plea: kirsten, please!

2005-05-12T13:55:00.000-04:00

world's easiest blind item (via popbitch):
Which colourful US female popstar has a secret lesbian love in London? Whenever she's in town, the star likes to get the party started with her record company lover. Both girls have a thing about bikers: the popstar dates them, while the SonyBMG girl has a copy of Hard Dykes On Bykes on her laptop.

2005-05-10T14:53:00.000-04:00

britpoppa congratulates renee zellweger for finally finding the cowboy of her dreams. eat your hearts out, jim, jack and damien.

2005-05-05T10:18:00.000-04:00

most of you who braved britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game managed to name the faux farrah correctly, parker posey. could it be that our hint as to her bad hair day history made the game too simple? we couldn't resist a jab at the mop top she sported for the broadway revival of hurlyburly, though. or maybe it was the top she wore in this picture. parker's quite fond of it - she also wore it on an outing with olympia dukakis in 2003. at least one of you didn't know who she was. that person guessed juliette lewis. maybe next time.

2005-05-04T12:11:00.000-04:00

divine justice has intervened and punished katie holmes for the crime of relationship fraud. guess tom cruise has a pretty monster case of herpes.

and speaking of publicity stunts, oprah is a bitch for pulling this lame-ass one - and so's her daughter.

justin timberlake's having surgery on his vocal chords next week. good thing there's no honeymoon to ruin.

angelina jolie and brad pitt are having better sex than you are. well, we guess they are. i mean, you could be having great sex, i suppose. hopefully you are.

we all know colin farrell is a horndog, but sex with a 70-year-old woman? that's just obscene.

britney's gone from brunette to blonde and from frapuccinos to iced tea. that better be caffeine-free, missy.

robbie williams has been rumored to have have dated both kelly and aimee osbourne. but he's only had phone sex with sharon.

some matches made in skank heaven: tara reid and tommy lee, jessica simpson and fred durst

mary-kate olsen has inadvertently revealed her secret to staying so thin (you know, besides the not eating thing) - she's a smoker. her 8-year-old fans better not hear about this. their little innocent hearts will be broken.

jessica simpson and lindsay lohan are duking it out. not in the battle for sex with johnny knoxville (they both won that one), but in the battle for worst dressed of the week. will it go to the cut-offs or the leggings?

2005-05-03T22:49:00.000-04:00

ashlee simpson has a new hairdo. or is that lisa kudrow? what do you think of her metamorphosis?

2005-05-03T11:10:00.000-04:00

not much news today. the biggest story is that this picture of jennifer garner has everyone and their mom suspecting that a pregnancy is the reason that ben affleck recently asked her to be his bride.

we saw house of wax last night. despite our initial skepticism, we decided it was pretty rad. i mean, dean wouldn't make a bad movie, now would he? *spoiler* he definitely has the coolest death.

someone better put kelly osbourne on xanax before she loses her shit in the wrong place at the wrong time (4th item).

christina ricci loved working on the horror movie, cursed so much that she's decided to masquerade as a zombie in real life. i'm sorry, but no one should look that dead without makeup on at only 25. get some sleep, girl.

the british press really wants to insinuate that angelina jolie is an incestual pedophile. guess targeting michael jackson just got too boring.

tomkat: celibate, but kinky

gwyneth paltrow teaches little apple how to swim. we'd make some mean comment, but this picture is just too adorable.

add this to the list of biggest conspiracies after the false moon landing: oprah and steadman's secret love child.

mary-kate olsen has decided to take on a summer internship as a garbage man. either that or she's been raiding the jumpsuit section of chloe sevigny's closet. that girl has one big collection of jumpsuits.

2005-05-02T15:39:00.000-04:00

this gal's current farrah 'do isn't the only bad hair day she's had lately. she recently sported one of the ugliest hairstyles we've ever seen for a role on the stage. do you know who she is? bonus points if you can a) name the reason for her past awful hairdo and, b) link to a photo of it.

2005-05-02T11:12:00.000-04:00

kelly osbourne in wonderland? while the bow isn't too offensive, we think she's taken her love of cartoons a little too far.

cameron diaz and justin timberlake may marry at the posh hotel du cap in france this weekend. they've booked every room in the cannes attendee favorite. and they'll be joined soon onscreen as well. jt's taken a part in shrek 3.

sometimes blind items (from page six and ny daily news) are obvious:

WHICH newly married actor isn't so faithful? Before he walked down the aisle with his lovely actress wife, he walked into a bedroom and got nasty with a hard-partying Hollywood starlet whom many know intimately (chad michael murray and paris hilton)

Which soulful young pop star is dealing with a nasty blackmail situation on account of her secret same-sex proclivities? (alicia keys)

sometimes they're not (can you guess who they are?):

Which squeaky-clean Hollywood actor trawls the East Village for punk girls to hook up with? "The skankier the better," says a witness.

WHICH diminutive rock star isn't so faithful to his lovely wife? While she keeps the home fires burning, he's out being bad with an exotic woman

WHICH skirt-chasing actor has been two-timing not only his wife, but the sexy blond superstar that he's been cheating with? The horndog was spotted making out with a lithe young lovely in front of the Mercer Hotel before checking into a suite for more naughtiness.

johnny knoxville, jackass with an interest in modern literature? in his sweatband-adorned hand, he totes ian mcewan's bestseller, atonement. hmmm.

we always thought scarlett johansson and vanity fair were as perfectly matched as catherine zeta-jones and michael douglas - she's the willing ingenue to their dirty old man. guess we were wrong.

are hilary duff and joel madden openly dating now? can anyone clear this up for us? we've been seeing more and more pictures of them together and being more affectionate and now hil's mom is commenting on their relationship?!? she's still underage, right?

have britney spears's breasts gotten enormous in the last few days or is it just us? we think she should take advantage of those boobs and this time before her bump - it's a boy - really starts showing and become the next dolly parton.

proof sienna miller is with jude law for the right reasons. don't cry: it's just a ring, babe. or is it a symbol of more bad luck to come?

rebecca loos is history. the newest lady on the other end of beckham's text messages is pouty vixen esther canadas.

in case you weren't at the spider club this past weekend, you missed avril lavigne getting totally smashed. of course, this isn't exactly news anymore, is it? now ashley olsen getting crazy drunk - that's another story.

2005-04-25T13:03:00.000-04:00

as justin timberlake so eloquently illustrates with his trucker cap, "work sucks." you may have noticed that britpoppa's been rather sparse in the updates department. that's because our 9 to 5 is kicking our ass right now. expect things to be rather sporadic until may 16. then we'll be back and badder than ever.

2005-04-21T12:37:00.000-04:00

in honor of star magazine's 83rd beach bodies issue, here's a beach body we wouldn't mind having: natalie portman's.

there's just too much news and too much work so here's the run down:

scarlett johansson is stealing josh hartnett away from katie holmes. please lord, let there be a catfight.

katherine moennig has just as much game in real life as she does on "the l word". no surprise though, she is gwyneth's cousin.

spring is in the air: paris hilton's feeling maternal. she should probably just buy another chihuahua.

justin timberlake is clearly batshit insane.

life imitates art: keanu reeves is doing diane keaton.

also pregnant: benjamin bratt's wife, talisa soto. not that anyone gives a rat's ass about benjamin bratt.

gwen stefani models a hoodie with the lyrics form her new hit, "hollaback girl". what's really bananas is that rastafarian hat she has on.

and back to the dish:

the hanson clan expands again. looks like 22-year-old taylor's as potent as k. feds's.

lindsay's boobs are the only thing enhanced on her body, she loves her new collagen lips.

liz hurley's son will definitely get beat up.

hmm, maybe britney and lynne aren't as close as they seem. why else would she be getting pregnancy advice from madonna instead of mom?

why not ruin tonight's episode of "the oc" a little?

why can't these two billionaires get back together? it's so sad.

lindsay's a blonde. doesn't she look awful? this is no way to win back wilmer, girl.

2005-04-21T11:52:00.000-04:00

sure, he pioneered the trucker hat look in hollywood, but the majority of you who pitted the hipster as ashton kutcher in britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game forgot one thing: this guy was missing the red string bracelet. nope, our german shepherd-loving hunk was none other than newly-married chad michael murray. hate to tell you, but some of you did get punk'd.

wrong guesses: kelso, hayden christensen, paulo costanzo and eric estrada.

2005-04-19T14:43:00.000-04:00

salma's got jungle fever. jamie's got jungle fever. they've got jungle fever. they're in love. that is if she's gotten over penelope.

breaking news: lindsay lohan's gone blonde!

everyone's getting married!

chad and sophia

rob and amber

jennifer and ben

demi and ashton

britney, now that the world knows you're pregnant, it's really time to lay off the herb. sure it helps with the morning sickness, but your kid's going to need all the help she can get in the brains department with cletus as a father.

everyone's having babies!

nancy kerrigan

michelle williams

jamelia

or just getting fat!

leonardo dicaprio

looks like 17-year-old hilary duff is finally making her illegal relationship with 26-year-old joel madden public. hey hil, since you and haylie like to share everything, why don't you hook her up with benji? he's a total stud.

everyone's getting arrested!

chris tucker

natasha lyonne (well not quite yet)

johnny cash

keira knightley and her model boyfriend jamie dornan have developed a new sport, synchronized cell phone usage. try it with your mate today!

2005-04-19T11:45:00.000-04:00

it's been super busy at work lately so we may or may not get to do an actual post today. in the meantime, tide yourself over with some free ice cream at ben and jerry's. and read about our undying love for free cone day. (p.s. next monday score free ice cream cake at cold stone creamery.)

2005-04-18T12:06:00.000-04:00

britpoppa's not feeling particularly "bloggy" today (blame it on "the mondays"), so you'll just have to settle for a "spot the hipster" version of the semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. so just who is this fella who has a thing for canada and german shepherds?

2005-04-15T11:46:00.000-04:00

kate moss, while normally the epitome of model-y style, is inexplicably rockin out in these skin tight white jeans and keds. we are dumbfounded.

forget "revelations", the next "surreal life" will be the greatest story ever told.

gwyneth paltrow may look perfect, but she has problems too. ever since she gave birth to her little apple, she's had trouble remembering her lines. good thing there's no dialogue involved in modeling jewelry.

it's the final count down - until the wedding singer is comes to broadway. mark your calendars for april 2006. this is sure to be one to remember.

jessica simpson, who five days earlier looked nicole richie skinny, was back to her hippy, hourglass look of the late '90s the other night. guess she never read any of those articles on how to dress 10 pounds lighter.

garden gnomes are having the best week ever.

cameron diaz? more like cameron diva. though her new mtv show, "trippin'" makes her look like the definition of a no-fuss free spirit, it takes a lot of work to look so care-free. she's charged the network for her hair extensions and acne treatments. like she can't afford it.

nic cage's wife is sure going for that stereotypical submissive asian wife thing, isn't she? well, we can't really blame her since it got her out of that job as a sushi waitress. we'd do far more drastic things to get out of our 9 to 5.

did jude law and sienna miller secretly get married? nope, probably not.

if "power girls" had you at all swayed into believing that lizzie grubman is just a nice girl, this will change your mind. that is, if you forgot about that whole running people down in the hamptons incident.

britney spears swoons over kevin federline's first fashion magazine cover, despite the fact that that l'uomo vogue photoshoot boasts one of the most heinous uses of cornrows ever. this couple is quite the contradiction, while they can afford a new home in las vegas (to be closer to vanessa?) and an infiniti, they just can't scrounge up enough change for some ice cream.

2005-04-14T12:40:00.000-04:00

scarlett johansson is still having some skin problems. nice to know that the gorgeous girl with the sexy voice has a bit of monet in her. and speaking of clueless... (via pink is the new blog).

brittany murphy loves to give it away. first she's kissing homeless men and now she's posing for our "american bravehearts". let's make her the next pope. and to kill two birds with one stone, let's nominate j.lo for sainthood.

lindsay lohan's been stalking her ex, wilmer valderrama, prompting him to get a bodyguard. this dude must be a pretty big pansy if he's scared of a 86-pound 18-year-old. guess he doesn't have to stretch much to play fez after all.

we never really bought in to chris klein's appeal. and we certainly questioned how he managed to bag a babe like katie holmes. but now that we've seen his mugshot from the dui he was charged with 2 months ago, we understand. guess we just like bad boys (via defamer).

this dude from interpol must live under a goddamn rock. either that or he's just a fucking asshole. oh yeah, probably the second one.

someone call "nanny 911". there's a naughty little celebrity child running around england giving out the finger.

go ahead, brit. scarf down that ice cream. and next time, get a double scoop. it's cool now, you're eating for two, babe. but stay away from the ciggies, okay? and while we're at it, is it a girl bun in your oven or not?

fred durst is shopping around his own reality show. we wonder if he knows that the only people who would watch it are of those of the "stare at a car crash" mentality.

jay mccarroll update: he's pissing off the press, badmouthing other designers and getting super drunk. jay's clearly destined for the upper echelons of the fashion world. yay!

thanks to golden fiddle for breaking the news that jessica alba had gotten a hair cut. like chris klein, we never really went for jessica before. this kirsten dunst pixie thing made us so excited we peed a little, though.

2005-04-13T16:05:00.000-04:00

you guys are too good. we thought maybe the fact that tori spelling hasn't done anything notable in the last five years (or let's face it, ever - unless you count co-ed call girl, which we do) would render her nearly unrecognizable. boy were we wrong. you'd recognize those Ts her daddy bought for her anywhere.

wrong guesses: kelly preston, sarah michelle gellar, heidi klum.

2005-04-13T15:44:00.000-04:00

there's nothing britpoppa loves more than comments. bring em on, whether they're naughty or nice. while we love each and every one of you who has left a message on this blog, we have to admit to having a favorite commenter. and that title belongs to miss vanessa hulihan. vanessa, if you don't know her, is the "vip escort" who "hangs out" with kevin federline while he's in las vegas. she has, on occasion, come to britpoppa's livejournal presence to clear things up about their relationship. here are the gems she's bestowed upon our little weblog. (oh and she's started her own livejournal.)

january 25, 2005
KEVIN FEDERLINE IN VEGAS WITH ESCORT..WHAT THE HELL
vanessa hulihan
I just want to say I feel bad for this guy he gets such a bad rap, Ive hung out with him and his friends a few times and hes so sweet why everyone picks on him I have no idea. And just to set the record straight to everyone no Im not a escort and no me and Kevin did not get lap dances together before someone came in the strip club and took a picture. I am a vip host and thats all!

xoxo VANESSA
(VEGAS'S #1 VIP HOST)

april 12, 2005
VANESSA COMMENTING
vannessa hulihan
I just wanted to say that I hope everyone saw my last comment where I said Kevin was a sweetheart and how these rumors got out of control about me and Kevin in Vegas Im really not sure. Anyways you guys should go a little easier on Brit and Kev posts that i see around the internet not that you guys post that great of stuff about me either but its no biggie..lol anyways they are good people. As far as the Hard Rock goes and I love the Hard Rock dont get me wrong I just think Tommy Lipnick should not say things to the press that arent true...but oh well I guess I should forgive him on his comment to reporter Norm Clarke.

xoxo Vanessa

Re: VANESSA COMMENTING
anonymous poster
are you crazy?

Re: VANESSA COMMENTING
vanessa hulihan
no the last time I checked I wasnt but I think people who say I wasnt somewhere when i was might be coo coo not me, especially when they saw me all weekend!

Re: VANESSA COMMENTING
redacted poster
Yes, Britney is well on her way to becoming the single, white trash, unwashed moo of her dreams.

Re: VANESSA COMMENTING
vanessa hulihan
Well everyone has their own opinion on people. People think Kevin is a bad guy out to get her money when I dont think that at all...hes actually a really nice guy.

xoxo vanessa

2005-04-13T11:49:00.000-04:00

we're still stoked about the britney/kevin pregnancy, so we dropped them a note of congratulations this morning. these recent pics of the couple make it look as though kevin's been putting on some sympathy weight. what a nice guy. he even spent hours at brit's bedside when she was admitted to the hospital last week. that aside, who's this woman following them around?

with his legions of failed relationships (juliette lewis, gwyneth paltrow, jennifer aniston), brad pitt's a pro at the break-up thing. no wonder he helped his troy co-star orlando bloom get over his split with kate bosworth. yeah, we bet they spent a lot of time "comforting" each other.

missed the charles and camilla nuptials on purpose? maybe sophia bush and chad michael murray are more your style. rumor is they're tying the knot this weekend after spending this past one in vegas doing the bachelor/bachelorette party thing. that gives paris and lindsay one last chance to break things up (via oh no they didn't).

it's not fair. how come the skinny girls lose weight after a break-up? we always run to the ice cream.

we were kind of looking forward to tonight's premiere of "revelations" on nbc. apocalypse? awesome. bill pullman? cool. natascha mcelhone? hot. fred durst? total cock block.

if you want to hang with jamie foxx, you better smile for the camera, bitch.

liv tyler looks a little bummed as she walks her king charles spaniel. she's probably thinking about her ex-boyfriend, joaquin phoenix, who just checked into rehab. hey liv, since he can't hit the bottle, why don't you send him some virtual crack?

planning a visit to washington state? don't miss kurt cobain's hometown of aberdeen. and don't worry how you look - they want you to come as you are.

everyone knows that now when paris and nicole call each other "bitch" they aren't joking, but have things gotten so bad that hilton needs a new "simple life" co-star? apparently she's hoping to snag mary-kate or ashley, while nicole may do her own "newlyweds" with fiance, dj am (via oh no they didn't).

if you still care about natalie imbruglia/that dude from silverchair...

we were sad to see lluvy leave "america's next top model" last week. even the boy liked her. and we thought for sure flesh-eaten michelle would get the boot. but it was not to be. if you're missing her already, check out this interview.

spring break is coming to "the oc" and they're doing it up boca style - check out seth's geriatric sunglasses. we can't wait for this episode when sexy sin city siren jamie king (or james as we still refer to her from back in her horse riding and delias catalog days) plays some shuffleboard with the boys. what will summer and marissa think?

2005-04-12T20:37:00.000-04:00

britney's finally fessed up to the federline fetus inside her. to celebrate, we've given you a couple baby-themed songs (at least in name) to sway to. hope you enjoy em!

brian eno - baby's on fire
four tops - baby i need your loving

(p.s. joaquin phoenix is in rehab. after you've dated liv tyler, you have nowhere to go but down.)

2005-04-12T12:39:00.000-04:00

what's ashton kutcher been up to lately? besides starring in a couple of mediocre movies, apparently he's been playing guess who and taking a freaky looking demi moore out on the town. maybe she's trying to pull a shandi and get high fashion for her upcoming role as a versace spokesmodel.

britney baby alert: page sixsixsix says she's in the hospital due to pregnancy complications. we're really pulling for you, hon. we're desperate to see how a child raised solely on cheetos and red bull will look.

it looks like k.d. lang is giving tobey maguire a run for his money. but seriously, in a world of shrinking kates, jessicas and nicoles, it's nice to see some ladies packing on the pounds.

kate beckinsale is prepping herself for the stunts in the underworld sequel by smoking up a storm. but even a diet of cigarettes hasn't spared this english rose from the horrors of cellulite.

the words of a genius: "in addition to my own sense of style, i think a lot of people admire tinkerbell's look as well." - paris hilton on her motivation for designing dog collars. is there anything she won't put her name on?

the only thing more boring than playing charades is watching other people play it. but seriously rosie perez yelling out some off-target guesses could be pretty funny.

jessica alba has decided she never wants to be without cash (warren, her boyfriend). she's sure to be the subject of engagement speculation as she's been spotted wearing a ring on her left hand. he's a civilian and all, but couldn't her man spring for a bigger rock?

why hasn't ben affleck gotten a nobel prize yet?

lookin good, j. lo. or is it j. anth? next time leave the heavy colored eye shadow to the golden girls set, okay?

when you're a celebrity, you can invite people you've never met to your birthday party. we're aiming high for our 25th - sexy sexagenarian kurt loder. (can you believe it? he's totally turning 60 next month)

lindsay lohan decrees the new look for spring: sideburns. is it just us or does she look a little like elijah wood in this picture?

2005-04-11T12:47:00.000-04:00

do you know who this butterfly-loving lady is? we bet she'd be pretty insulted if you didn't. she is a very important person, you know. otherwise how would she have gotten her dog a meeting with the pet psychic? if you have a guess, leave it in the comments section and come back wednesday evening for the reveal.

2005-04-11T00:16:00.000-04:00

if jake gyllenhaal really is toothy tile as everyone has been suspecting, then we think there are some boys out there who'll be mighty happy to see just how big he can open up his mouth. does anyone know what he's eating? it looks strange to us. whatever it is, it's on the menu at urth cafe (one of ex-girlfriend kirtsen dunst's favorite brunch stops).

well cutting back on the chaw sure didn't help chris of "the apprentice" to cut back on the hostility. the 22-year-old "millionaire" was arrested on saturday at a florida indian reservation casino. he's hoping that the donald feels that any publicity's good publicity. and from the looks of those dominos commercials, it seems he does. speaking of the donald, his miss usa pageant is on tonight with raj as a judge. love it.

lizzy jagger may pose for playboy. and daddy mick's none too pleased about the idea. we'd definitely visit fleshbot for those pics, though.

things are looking bad for britney and kevin. the dumpy duo have hauled ass to hawaii in an attempt to save their ailing marriage. they should just go on dr. phil and get it over with. but seriously, we're rooting for ya'll. you're britpoppa's favorite impromptu marriage of 2004.

hayden christensen = total fag?

christina ricci has the lamest celebrity ride we've ever seen. even our mom's 13-year-old camry is sleeker than this boring ford sedan. goldberg, take your girl to a mercedes dealership, stat!

stay away from pete doherty, missy elliott. allegedly he's a one minute man (via a socialite's life). oh, and he puts kevin federline to shame in the stink factor. now we finally understand the appeal.

ashton kutcher: what a sweetheart. we can almost forgive him for pretty much singlehandedly bringing back the trucker cap. nope, nevermind, nothing excuses that.

there go our hopes of ever living the lush life in a manhattan co-op. guess barney's co-op will have to do.

tobey maguire's got a long way to go before he's ready to film spiderman 3. dude - seen here leaving the la u2 concert - needs to switch to light beer and stay away from the reefer if he's going to curb those munchies.

2005-04-08T16:57:00.000-04:00

this one time, we had a blog. it was awesome. remember that? those were the good old days. until we come back, chew on this photo of brittany murphy allowing herself to be kissed by one of her more homeless fans. in the mean time, we're one!

2005-04-04T20:27:00.000-04:00

britpoppa's sick again. it sucks. question for you all: would any of you want a new york herald tribune t-shirt a la the one jean seberg wore in breathless? saw jenny in a similar one on "the l word" last night and coveted it, so we made one on the internet. thing is, you have to buy at least 6 shirts for them to make one. leave a comment if you're interested. they would be $25 including shipping and they are american apparel girly jersey tees (sizes s-xl).

2005-04-01T12:05:00.000-05:00

penelope cruz woke up the other morning and decided that she wanted to merge her career and her personal life. she loved taking on different personas so much that she wanted to do it in her free time as well. on this day, she has decided to become barbarella. considering her boyfriend is from big-hair-loving texas, we're surprised it took penelope this long to tease her tresses. p.s. like a true nerd, this girl loves charades.

page sixsixsix has all the dirt. like melissa rivers dating cris judd (huh, we thought she was with tonya) and ryan philippe moving out of reese witherspoon's house (so sad). he even has pictures of britpoppa's occasional commenter and kevin federline's occasional concubine, vanessa hulihan. nice score, perez! we need more gay friends.

best movie ever (via oh no they didn't)

if paris and nicole decide to give up "the simple life", lizzie and jonathan might just be the next best thing. (omg, you guys, riding the bus is so funny! btw, love that clarendon top. could you comp me a few?)

everyone knows paris hilton looks hungry - there's hardly an ounce of fat on that rail-thin body. but who knew she was this hungry. she's about to eat her new chihuahua, bambi. now we know where tinkerbell went...

to quote stephanie tanner (or was it dj?), "whoa baby!" it seems there's another celebrity couple with a child on the way. and it's one of the last we would have suspected. heath ledger, who broke up with naomi watts last year because he wasn't ready to settle down, has knocked up our favorite dawson's creeker, michelle williams. interesting, we were sure heath was jake fake.

just when you thought jessica simpson couldn't get any more stupid...

mariah carey recently admitted that she sometimes wished she would be kidnapped so that she could escape her ex-husband, tommy mottola. unfortunately, for mariah, no kidnapper could endure her grating personality.

samaire armstrong was, for a time, the best part of "the oc". unlike lindsay or zack, anna seemed an organic addition to the core group of friends on the show. plus, it didn't hurt that she was cute as hell. so we have to say, we're a little stoked for just my luck, even though it's sure to be more of a drama queen than a mean girls. still, what was the stylist on this movie thinking? did they dye samaire's hair with kool aid or what? so retro.

2005-03-31T11:47:00.000-05:00

someone help jessica simpson! she's been shot! in our dreams. nah, she's just wearing some awful jackson pollock-inspired couture top. oh well.

brad pitt and angelina jolie are on the fast track to becoming mr. and mrs. offscreen as well as on. according to some reports, they recently shared a suite in palm springs' le parker meridien hotel under the names bryce and jasmine pilaf. if the porn star-esque pseudonyms are any indication, things must have gotten pretty kinky.

is halle berry getting hot and heavy with heavy d? all this has got heavy wondering: now that he's found love, what is he gonna do with it?

as oprah's old theme song exclaimed, she's every woman. so now it seems she's playing the role of single woman. star is reporting her romance of 19 years with stedman graham is on the rocks. serves him right: he should have forced a ring on that finger of hers years ago.

omg, gag me with a spoon. the information you so didn't want to have.

it seems elisha cuthbert's the latest victim of the body snatchers. wonder how thighs feels about seeing his lady love in such rough shape? admittedly, though, we probably look like a zombie when we're doing electronics shopping at best buy too.

britney spears may hate the "false tabloids," but she does listen to them. it seems she was very upset by the idea that her "fine hubby" kevin federline may have been prancing around las vegas on the arm of a vip escort last weekend. the story caused her to get into a big argument that ended with britney in tears and kevin being kicked to the curb. don't fret, though. if these pictures are any indication, the volatile couple has already kissed and made up.

more demi and ashton baby and wedding fodder

say it isn't so. mary-kate olsen may be returning to the west coast next year to study at ucla. we'd better make it nyc soon if we ever hope to have an mk sighting. on a side note: the move may be good for her puppy, luca. i mean, who buys a labrador in nyc? runyon canyon is a much better place for her.

while it must be hard for jennifer lopez to cope with the peta campaign against her, it's nice to see that her butt is taking it all in good stride.

2005-03-30T21:24:00.000-05:00

here are the answers to the celebrity baby name game, presented by coco cox-arquette. score yourself and see how you did.

1. p
2. s
3. i
4. f
5. c
6. u
7. l
8. g
9. o
10. d
11. q
12. h
13. a
14. m
15. n
16. b
17. k
18. w
19. t
20. e
21. x
22. v
23. r
24. j
25. y

25-17: false tabloid - either you've been reading star magazine since you were in the womb or you did a little research on this one. either way, those celebrities better keep their babies away from you if they don't want a lindbergh situation on their hands.

16-9: "access hollywood" watcher - you keep up with the celebrity baby names, but only when they're new. you don't care what some crusty old fogy like farrah fawcett named her kid. you leave that kind of stuff to the weekend "et" viewers.

8-0: clueless - why are you even reading britpoppa?

2005-03-30T13:17:00.000-05:00

why is it so fulfilling to watch a celebrity eating? we don't know, but we're really getting a kick out of seeing gwen stefani eat a burrito.

us weekly is reporting that guy ritchie is frustrated with his wife madonna's need to be in charge. he really should have known going into that marriage that he would not be the one wearing the trousers.

speaking of kabbalah enthusiasts, look who's joined the red string club.

kevin federline sure isn't acting like a father-to-be. he's been spotted out with vegas "vip escort" vanessa hulihan again. the back-up dancer and britpoppa commenter spent the weekend hitting the hot clubs and getting frisky. according to one eye-witness, vanessa sat on kevin's lap while he caressed her inner thighs. at one point, k. fed loudly exclaimed that he didn't want to have a baby with britney and that, should they ever divorce, he wants to move to vegas. someone better watch out if they want to stay on the spears payroll.

how does a dude as butt-ugly as jack osbourne score such a hot chick? if her balenciaga bag is any indication, she's not in it for the cash. so that leads us to jack's t-shirt: she must be a drunk slut.

courtney love will deep throat something other than a bottle of pills soon. she is going to have the lead role in a biopic about legendary porn star, linda lovelace.

who would have guessed? naomi campbell has beaten another assistant out of a job. someone should really get this woman on zoloft.

mary-kate olsen has more than she bargained for with her adorable chocolate lab puppy, luca. according to in touch, the little rascal has been peeing all over her soho loft. in true millionairess style, m-k got someone else to deal with the problem and hired a trainer to potty train her pup.

hey gwyneth, you're a trim gal and all, but i don't think those shoes are quite your size. ms. paltrow shops for apple at babystyle in santa monica (the same store where britney's pregnancy speculation began all those months ago).

2005-03-29T13:36:00.000-05:00

beck's new cd, guero, is out today. you've probably had it for months now, but we'll be hearing it for the first time after we pick it up tonight.

it's a slow news day. you'll have to be satisfied chewing on this tidbits. hope you packed your lunch today.

read one account of why ben affleck and jennifer lopez broke up. let's just say he probably tells garner to stay away from the wow chips.

new harry potter pics

lindsay lohan exactly how we want her - all wet

more proof that you can't get anywhere without connections

barbara bush dating bob "the bachelor" look-a-like

ashton kutcher's red string bracelet digitally removed from guess who

"surreal life 5" cast announced: balki!

2005-03-28T15:30:00.000-05:00

britpoppa's been bad - we've been letting 2001's gossip hide away in 2001 where it belongs. but now we're being very bad - we're emptying all of that dirty laundry from the hamper and airing it out for your pleasure.

four years ago, the water coolers were buzzing with the news that:

steven soderbergh claimed that he could teach anyone with a brain how to direct a film in an hour. unfortunately, his plan to create a seminar on that very subject failed to come to fruition as no one with a brain actually wants to direct.

julia roberts's old dentist had given away hundreds of tubes of toothpaste. he had promised to give out the paste should any of his former patients win a big award. though julia took home her oscar the previous sunday, she failed to mention her dentist in the acceptance speech.

hugh jackman was using his experience filming the romantic comedy someone like you to do something he'd always dreamed of - go home with a woman. the actor claimed that when he was dating, he'd always bring women back to his place. at least the movie made that fantasy come to life - it certainly did nothing for his career.

on march 28, 2001:

julia stiles reached her second decade.

vince vaughn turned 30 + 1.

brett ratner turned 32.

reba mcentire turned 46.

dianne wiest turned 53.

mike newell turned 59.

maeve binchy turned 61.

2005-03-28T12:38:00.000-05:00

there are few things that britpoppa loves as much as babies. they're adorable (like mr. james wilke broderick here). but it's pretty hard to work babies into a celebrity gossip blog. until now. our latest game asks you to match the crazy baby names to the crazy celebrity parents. come back wednesday evening to see how you scored.

1. phoenix
2. tallulah, rumer, scout
3. mingus
4. moon unit, dweezil, ahmet, diva
5. banjo
6. assisi
7. blue angel
8. pirate
9. cruz, brooklyn, romeo
10. jaya, ellery
11. ireland
12. chastity sun, elijah blue
13. zowie
14. indiana august
15. enzo
16. sailor
17. satchel
18. redmond
19. caspar
20. denim, diesel
21. cosimo
22. ezra, tzporia
23. audio science
24. pilot inspektor
25. seven sirius

a. david bowie
b. christie brinkley
c. rachel griffiths
d. ben harper, laura dern
e. toni braxton
f. frank zappa
g. jonathan davis
h. sonny bono, cher
i. helena christensen
j. jason lee
k. woody allen, mia farrow
l. the edge
m. casey affleck, summer phoenix
n. patricia arquette
o. david and victoria beckham
p. mel b. (scary spice)
q. kim basinger, alec baldwin
r. shannyn sossamon
s. demi moore, bruce willis
t. claudia schiffer
u. jade jagger
v. taylor hanson
w. ryan o'neal, farrah fawcett
x. beck
y. erykah badu, andre 3000

2005-03-28T11:53:00.000-05:00

hmm, maybe jessica simpson and britney spears should tell scarlett johansson about the wonders of proactiv. or could it be that scar's gone zitty for her man? jared leto was acne-prone cameron diaz's long-term flame - maybe he has a blemish fetish.

we know you have steamy dreams about what it must have been like to deflower seth cohen. we know you want to have a million of adam brody's babies. we know you have a voodoo doll with rachel bilson's picture glued on. no wait, that's us. still, in case you're at all curious, here's what his high school girlfriend has to say about dating him (via oh no they didn't).

here's proof that becoming world famous at the age of thirteen really does stunt your growth: kimora lee simmons reportedly licked all of the donuts that were delivered to her old show, "life & style" in order to make sure no one else would eat them.

brad pitt tries to cope with the fact that jennifer aniston has filed for divorce by possibly signing on for the "dallas" movie. at least it sounds like a rebound decision to us. even with catherine zeta-jones.

has madonna gone back to her catholic roots for easter? nah, she and guy ritchie are just attending a kabbalah costume party. next time, she'll be the red string bracelet and he'll be a pocket zohar.

cover girl? more like girl on girl. the new york daily news claims they're clearing up the rumors that "antm" eva pigford is gettin' her freak on with missy elliott, but really just spreads the rumor our way. now we're really rethinking girl's relationship with ann.

aaron carter and lindsay lohan should really get back together. they have so much in common. they've both had some car trouble (her in the wacky new herbie movie and him with that little explosion a few weeks back). they both have some embarrassing adolescent moments in the spotlight (his, hers). and now they both have parents publicly alleging that they're drug addicts. plus, if her exploits this past week are any indication, she has no problem hooking up with exes.

cameron, no one likes to go "trippin'" with a grumpy pants. ms. diaz flips her signature bird while waiting for her musical manchild outside the waldorf astoria. her new show premieres on mtv tonight. we'd give you the link but the mtv website is mia.

umm, weirdest movie ever. but really, what do you expect from the man who claimed that oscar wilde was an alien?

speaking of velvet goldmine, christian bale's wife had a baby girl last night. we didn't even know he was married. time to begrudgingly cross another one off the list.

andy roddick: really resourceful.

will someone please tell us how anyone can look this skinny just five weeks after giving birth? never mind, we've figured it out - victoria beckham was never pregnant to begin with. did anyone actually ever see a bump? we think cruz must have been adopted.

2005-03-25T15:49:00.000-05:00

bravo: you did surprisingly well in the match the t-shirt to the celebrity game. we knew you'd all get britney - i mean, duh! but stephen dorff proved more challenging. many of you thought he was kevin federline. congratulations, rob, for fingering (figuratively, thank god) the dorffmeister. we are quite impressed. some livejournalers also guessed dorff (and ben affleck). identifying the shirt maker proved more difficult. one of you said juicy couture, but dorff would never wear juicy. many knew where britney purchased hers, kitson. you'd do better to get yours from the creators, though. while "trendyville" - as one of you called kitson - sells the shirt for $28 (and is backordered on them), vintage vantage - the awesome brand that made both shirts - has it for just $18.99. score! fyi: we do not work for vintage vantage and this is not a sales pitch. we just think they're awesome.

dress like the stars:
become an award winning wife
go to el salvador

2005-03-25T13:02:00.000-05:00

remember the days when a picture of britney spears in a bikini tossing her hair was super hot? here's definitive proof that those days are over. and if that's not enough for you, britbrit is planning on taking a summer job as a waitress. can't wait to see all those mother chuckers lining up at jj chill's for a britney blizzard.

paula abdul: insane in the membrane
penelope cruz: dumb as dirt
david beckham: scary as hell
sandra bullock and sister: butt buddies
ashton and bruce: underpants pals

it looks like the tabs weren't satisfied with merely speculating pregnancies for reese, britney, j.garn, j.lo and demi - apparently kate hudson is now knocked up as well.

don't let her demure appearance as joey potter fool you, katie holmes is a bitch and a slut (not that we have anything against bitches or sluts, some of our best friends are both). just weeks after announcing her split from fiance, chris klein, katie's been spotted in the arms of fellow midwesterner, josh hartnett. perhaps a high-profile hook-up would do both their ailing careers some good (via oh no they didn't).

is paris stepping out on paris? though at first glance, this picture makes it seem as though miss hilton's arms have gotten awfully bulky and tattooed in the last couple of days, that hand on her leg actually belongs to dave navarro (whose head is visible in the corner). let's hope carmen electra learns a thing or two from paula abdul and starts a cat fight over this thigh-grazing incident. that would be, to quote ph, hot.

2005-03-24T15:55:00.000-05:00

r.i.p. morty seinfeld.

2005-03-24T15:02:00.000-05:00

the fact that one of you identified the mystery boots in britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game as marc jacobs got us thinking: you can probably link much of the stars' clothing with the correct designer. so here's a new game for you to play - with two different skill levels. part one: match the t-shirt to the celebrity that wore it. part two: name the label that made the shirt (in this case, the same label made both shirts). okay, the first one is practically a giveaway, but considering no one guessed the boot-wearer this week, we had to throw you a bone. come back friday for the info!

2005-03-24T00:04:00.000-05:00

work is just too boring, so we're back (in a less exhaustive form). basically we got sick of feeling the need to post about celebrities that normally wouldn't even be a blip on our radar. we would all be fine if sandra oh, denise richards and melissa joan hart fell off the face of the earth. from now on we're basically sticking to the young, troubled and beautiful (because while skipping over page six was refreshing for the first couple of days, it left us feeling kind of empty after a while). expect more revamps and hopefully quirkier coverage in the coming weeks. until then, enjoy!

let's ignore the fact that matthew mcconaughey looks stoned in this picture. he always looks stoned and he probably always actually is stoned. no, what we're interested in is the light fixture attached to his head. perhaps matt is more self-aware than we gave him credit for. after becoming the certified "next big thing" back around 1997, his career has been less than enviable. the upcoming sahara with gal pal, penelope cruz is by no means an exception. so we think that matthew has accepted the fact that he is now on the a minus list by deciding to eschew acting for a more practical (though no more stable) career as a miner. either that or he's preparing for a role as a miner in his next "hit" film. anything is a step up from reign of fire.

we are so stoked. it seems two of our favorite hollywood couples (for vastly different reasons) may be getting back together. well actually, one of them may never have split up to begin with.

according to in touch, jake gyllenhaal and kirsten dunst have actually been together over the past few months. they merely faked their break-up back in july to get a little privacy. excellent. we were so sad when we thought they were over.

meanwhile, lindsay lohan appears to be getting cozy with wilmer valderrama again. okay, someone has their facts wrong here because while people says that the ex loves did some chatting at last week's snl after-party, just they other day, page six said lindsay specifically avoided the after-party when she heard wilmer would be there. were any of you there? did lindsay attend said party or skip it? we need the dirt, people. we just think the world is a better place when 25-year-old latino character actors are dating 18-year-old bombshells from long island. if you find yourself in either of those categories, please match yourself up with the corresponding opposite asap!

we've said it before and we'll say it time and time again - the british press is so retarded. i guess kelly brook wasn't out in a cleavage-baring dress last night, so they had to rush this extremely news-worthy item instead. i mean wtf?

the caption for this great picture of tobey "grizzly adams" maguire has him attending a meeting of the lion's club. what's up with these men's clubs anyway? according to the boy, the freemasons basically own america and part of the reason we wanted to try and transfer to yale was to find out more about the skull and bones society. unfortunately, the lions club is far less interesting. we should have suspected as much - they're responsible for the eyeglass recycling bin at the library for chrissake. guess tobey's only mysterious in the movies.

2005-03-23T21:27:00.000-05:00

yes! we win! we finally found one that stumped you. while one of you knew the boots were marc jacobs, no one managed to pin them down to marc jacobs fan, hilary swank. phew, we really thought we'd lost it. not to rub it in or anything. keep your eyes peeled for a new guessing game soon (like maybe even tomorrow).

your guesses: lilly cole, jane fonda, kate hudson, nancy sinatra, kate bosworth and sienna miller.

2005-03-23T13:00:00.000-05:00

britpoppa's going through a little bit of an existential crisis. you know, a sort of "what is our purpose here?" kind of thing. just like britney has been experiencing for the last couple of years (here she is on monday "enjoying" a birthday party she threw for kevin). don't worry, we're not leaving you for good - we're just longing for the days when britpoppa was fun and not a job. expect some sporadic updates and maybe some more games while we ponder things over. in the meantime, for your gossip updates, hit up the bosh (where we write for $), pink is the new blog, golden fiddle and oh no they didn't. we'll be back soon.

2005-03-21T20:15:00.000-05:00

britpoppa's out sick. rough weekend. still we're pleased to present you with britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. if you all manage this one, we may have to retire the game because you're way too good for us. so which fashionista has been walking the dog in burgundy military boots?

2005-03-18T13:48:00.000-05:00

demi and ashton are so close, they even share their clothes. we wonder if rumer is knitting up an identical scarf for her new bro or sis.

paula abdul is a cold-hearted snake. she was allegedly the driver in a hit and run accident last december. paula, hit and runs are bad news. remember what happened to andrea zuckerman?

we love girls with freckles. why do they have to cover them up? can anyone explain this to us? here are some freckled hotties: rachel bilson, lucy liu and lindsay lohan.

michael jackson loves bart. yes, in that way. no wonder he always aired his new videos after "the simpsons". i heard he has his eyes on the little green sprout now.

p. diddy is expanding his empire to include a line of "pimped-up" cars. you can buy one on july 1st if you have $85 gs burning a hole in your pocket. up next: sean john tp.

from the looks of it, it won't be long until gwyneth paltrow suffocates little apple in an attempt to save her from the brutality of the paparazzi. that would be ironic, huh?

jennifer and vince, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. miss aniston is rumored to have a crush on her co-star in the upcoming movie, the break-up, vince vaughn. can you blame her? pudginess aside, he is still kind of money.

it's official. heidi klum will be giving birth to a seal cub in about seven months. duh. i mean, we so called this on monday.

kevin federline: the l'uomo vogue shoot. what to say. at least it's true to life.

now that his feud with the game is over, 50 cent has a new brother on his hit list. samuel jackson refused to be in 50's movie because he hasn't proven himself as an actor. watch your back, sam. dude's been shot 9 times, i don't think you want to mess with him.

if mischa barton and brandon davis weren't so unquestionably irritating, we might almost think they looked sweet here, swimming in santa barbara. luckily they are unquestionably irritating. get a room, you guys.

"baywatch" and credibility. now most people would find the combination to be a bit of an oxymoron. but the impossible may happen as steven spielberg is interested in doing a movie version of the show best known for its T&A. perhaps he'll take a page from his own book and film the movie in black and white, except for the red swimsuits.

this is bad news for all those little girls who wanted to wear assless chaps and ringlets on the first day of school next year. christina aguilera has been dropped by the clothing company that planned to do her line. they were upset over her comment that celebrity clothing lines are "tacky".

chloe sevigny: "i just hate when girls have sex with their bras on in movies." we do too, babe. maybe we can forgive you for all those heinous outfits you've worn over the years. come over to our place this weekend. we can start a petition against bra sex in movies.

well it seems the eagles were right, hell has frozen over. i mean, what else could explain the fact that kelly osbourne actually looks kind of hot here. maybe the picture on her new album cover actually is her and not gaby hoffman (via pink is the new blog).

lil kim, big lies. the oft-scantily clad rapper has been convicted of perjury and faces up to 20 years in jail. we hope to see her in a poncho after she's released.

mario vasquez: totally starstruck. jessica and ashlee simpson: mega bitches. you'd think ashlee would be down for getting wilmer jealous with his look-a-like. also bitchy: paris hilton.

mariah carey claims she was a virgin when she married tommy mottola. right and the cover of her new cd isn't airbrushed either.

hey gwen. look, babies are fun. now go and get knocked up before that husband of yours finds someone else who will.

2005-03-17T12:02:00.000-05:00

save this image - you're unlikely to see it ever again. kate bosworth eats! and not a salad, an omelet! with ketchup! maybe she doesn't need to read this star article after all.

speaking of skinny birds, kylie minogue has had a nearly $10,000 corset commissioned for her upcoming tour. the tummy-trimmer will bring her already tiny waist down to only 16 inches.

milla jovovich won't let just anyone wear her line of jovovich-hawk clothing. she is planning on opening a greenwich village boutique soon, but it's by appointment only. sorry ladies.

the grannies are having babies. comedian molly shannon and actress edie falco are both new moms. molly had her son, nolan on tuesday and edie adopted her son in december. both women are in their early forties.

nicole kidman steps out with infamous bad boy, steve bing. stay away from him, nic! he's no good for you (or anyone for that matter).

quote of the day - snoop dogg: "I'm trying to become the black Tom Cruise. He just tells the motherf**ker what he wants and they get it done." amen, brother.

rudy huxtable is a grown up and maxim has the pictures to prove it. we think they're hot enough to provoke her tv dad to slip her some roofies (via pink is the new blog).

acting skills aside (those aren't important in hollywood anyway, right?) why is matt damon famous? he looks like any other post-college frat boy type. they might as well cast this guy in the next bourne identity flick.

the creepy crawlies in constantine may not have been special effects. crew members claim that the set they worked on was haunted. spooky.

oh it's so hard being j. lo. we really feel for you girl. no seriously, we feel so sorry for you. it must suck never having to buy tootie fruities instead of froot loops.

we have to admit it, anna kournikova is luscious. look at those lips. aside from the fact that he has to deal with how much he sucks, enrique iglesias is a lucky man.

britney on broadway? miss spears has her sights set on playing a part in the musical, wicked. but would she be glinda or elphaba? since hilary duff is also up for the part, we're thinking glinda. we hope britney snags the role. remember, that play was "really life changing" for her. but she probably won't be able to do it if she's pregnant.

got a fat fetish? then mr. spock has a book for you. leonard nimoy is about to publish a book of hefty hotties in erotic poses.

it seems like lindsay lohan's new flick, just my luck is trying to establish itself as "sex and the city: the next generation". lindsay is carrie/miranda, samaire armstrong is samantha and that other chick is charlotte. also on the "sex and the city" imitation band wagon are destiny's child. they plan to spoof the show in their new video.

2005-03-17T09:07:00.000-05:00

sorry we're late with the answers to britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. those boobs belong to shannon elizabeth (and, to the delight of men the world over, no longer to joseph reitman). they do not, however, belong to penelope cruz, jada pinckett-smith or teri hatcher. thanks again to the reader who supplied this week's picture. if you have one for us, send it to britpoppa at gmail dot com.

2005-03-16T11:02:00.000-05:00

head for the hills! it's evil kelly clarkson and she's thirsty for blood! we hear she's been waiting a lifetime for a moment like this when she can unleash her monster vengeance.

want to email your secret nerd crush, gideon yago? hit him up at gideonyago@hotmail.com. sure, he'll be expecting a message about his stolen laptop, but we're betting you can win him over with all those poems you've written about him over the years (ie, yago a go-go, ode to mtv news, osidian gideon).

seems like johnny knoxville has lost his shot with lindsay lohan. she got super pissed at the "jackass" when he ditched her outside a new orleans bar that wouldn't let her in. at least he has jessica simpson to fall back on.

though numerous tabloids are reporting that kate bosworth and orlando bloom have gotten back together, we hate to tell you that this is untrue. kate was merely meeting with orlando to pick up and visit with his dog.

is that jared leto or a member of kings of leon. we can't tell the difference. don't you just love a hipster in a western shirt?

don't put ashton kutcher in khakis or he might offend you. that's what happened when he was asked to start the daytona 500 last month. now the gap is really rethinking that summer 2002 ad campaign. oh, and it looks like his girlfriend (though women in their 40s really shouldn't be called girls, should they?), demi moore is definitely pregnant.

you can blame paris hilton for pretty much anything these days - case in point: nick carter blames his heiress ex for his drunk driving arrest earlier this month. apparently he's still drowning his sorrows over their break up last year in alcohol.

it appears as though jane fonda's own life inspired her erotic cult film, barbarella. she reveals in her upcoming autobiography that the movie's director, and her ex-husband, roger vadim often forced her into orgies with other women.

you know, pink, you're a rebel and all, but you really shouldn't be smoking while you're pregnant, okay? not to mention the possibility of cigarette burns on your new yves saint laurent purchases.

the musical manchild is ready to expand his empire. justin timberlake is going to launch his own record label. and he's working on his second solo album (finally).

god should really teach nicole kidman about the purpose of prayer. the actress claims that, as a child, she used to pray to be turned into a witch. the man upstairs made her an ice queen instead.

drew barrymore continues to rock her new equestrian streetwalker look. miss barrymore, we hate to break it to you, but even a streetwalker wouldn't be caught dead in those ensembles.

it's a sad day when the da vinci code manages to weasel itself into the fashion world. doesn't anybody realize how completely cheesy that book is?

renee zellweger just can't resist musicians. first jack white, then damien rice and now paul mccartney? she's confessed she has a crush on the former beatle. sorry, renee, he's married.

"where's my kevipoo, ya'll? i bought this pretty pink sundress for him and the mother chucker can't even get his broke ass over here." britney spears admits that her first marriage to jason alexander was a cry to her parents and that she didn't realize that it was legally binding. guess she is as stupid as we all thought.

2005-03-15T11:21:00.000-05:00

oh no, it's the unalohan! she and bruce willis must have used this disguise in order to frighten page six into taking back their story about the grope fest. page six are a bunch of cowards.

the piano man is back in rehab. billy joel's rep has confirmed that he is currently receiving treatment for alcoholism. it seems like he's been dealing with this issue for the longest time, doesn't it?

no surprise here: david beckham said that his wife, victoria is losing weight quickly after giving birth to their third son cruz. it's probably pretty easy to lose weight when you don't eat.

alicia, you're a lovely girl and all, but stay away from the peak-a-boo clothes from now on. you've definitely hit a sour note with this ensemble.

nicole kidman just can't resist the bad boys. she spent the weekend with her on-again/off-again boyfriend steve bing. earth to nicole - steve's relationship with elizabeth hurley ended with a paternity test. don't let that happen to you.

imdb news:

michael mann is realistic about the likelihood of trouble on the set of the miami vice movie with colin farrell and jamie foxx - he's budgeted for bail bondsmen.

salma hayek will be playing the role of a chubby lesbian serial killer. she must have her eyes on oscar.

scarlett johansson may be the babe in the next indiana jones flick. guess harrison likes em real young.

adam brody needs to give it up. camouflage only works in the woods. we all know you're dating rachel bilson, so just hold her hand instead of making her walk five steps behind. as the beatles would likely have told you, you're gonna lose that girl.

"degrassi: tng" fans - cassie steele (aka manny) isn't just a bad girl on tv. she's pretty naughty in real life too. read an article about her liquoring up minors here (via oh no they didn't).

it seems mary-kate olsen is a bit of a cheapskate. when she took her new puppy to the vet, she demanded that the visit be free as she had an old coupon from her ex-boyfriend, david katzenberg. you'd think with her checking account, she could afford to spread the wealth.

tara reid takes a break from protecting her image to hang out with a monkey. if she's got a monkey, she must be demure. everyone knows monkeys hate sluts, right?

remind us to boycott "one tree hill" (not that we watch it anyway). the show's dreamy male stars, chad michael murray and tyler hilton have been blowing up mice. yup, sounds like chad's definitely mature enough for marriage.

madonna's next album will feature a song called "i love new york". madge, if you love it so much, why don't you come home? we miss you here in america. london doesn't need you as much as we do.

apple martin travels in style. she uses two of the world's biggest stars as her method of transportation. what a lucky little gal.

2005-03-14T16:43:00.000-05:00

thanks to one of our long-term readers, we bring you britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. now, if you all unveil the victim in 10 seconds, we have someone to blame! can you name the vixen in this picture? leave your guesses in the comments section and come back wednesday evening for the reveal. if you want to send us a picture for next week, email it to britpoppa at gmail dot com. cheers!

2005-03-14T12:08:00.000-05:00

lindsay lohan looks like she would fit in quite well with patsy and eddy, doesn't she? with her fur coat, gaudy chanel bag and huge designer sunglasses, she's certainly absolutely fabulous.

celebrity injury updates: christina applegate has had to pull out of the boston run of her musical, sweet charity after breaking her foot during a chicago performance. prince william took a nasty spill from his horse during a polo match. though he emerged unharmed, the picture looks pretty painful.

i see london, i see france, i see sheryl crow's tatties. those paparazzi are sure mean aren't they?

napoleon dynamite's jon heder is not afraid of being pigeon-holed. he's signed up for a bunch more quirky nerd roles. it's good that he's realistic - given his mug, he's unlikely to be playing the lead in any romantic comedies soon.

as if you cared, rod stewart is engaged to his girlfriend penny lancaster after proposing to her at the top of the eiffel tower. the only interesting part is that he's still technically married to rachel hunter.

a knock on the head doesn't keep cameron from carrying her camera around. the 19 stitches she received when she fell from a chest of drawers do nothing to deter her from her mission to halt the paparazzi.

your favorite cartoon pop group is returning with their second album on may 24. not the archies or josie and the pussycats, but the far hipper gorillaz. dennis hopper will be doing a spoken word piece. should be interesting.

message to pete doherty: stop talking to the press. are you a junky and retarded?

britney spears has learned her lesson. she will no longer be revealing details of her personal life in interviews. but that's okay, she's sure to reveal plenty on her website on on the streets.

penelope cruz loads up a forkful of food just to make us all feel better about ourselves. how nice of her.

adrien brody to keira knightley: why don't we get drunk and screw?

another one bites the dust. actress sandra oh and her director husband, alexander payne have announced that they are separating. guess the relationship of the sideways team didn't get better with age.

gwyneth paltrow is eschewing any jealousy she may still hold by helping her former beau, brad pitt, reconcile with jennifer aniston. she's advised him to move back into their beverly hills home on a trial basis. yoga really helps bring out the best in people, doesn't it?

heidi klum looks as though she's got a bun in the oven. and star magazine confirms our suspicion. here's some more celebrity pregnancy news: pete sampras and his billy madison star wife, bridgette wilson are expecting their second child; former vanity fair it girl, gretchen mol is pregnant with her first child; and the donald's third wife, melania may soon be popping one out.

katie holmes and chris klein sure aren't acting like they've broken up. a defamer reader spotted them kissing passionately on the street. hmmm...

hilary swank has gone sour grapes over a little bit of fruit. she is contesting a $150 fine for bringing an apple and orange into new zealand and probably spending way more than $150 in the process.

scary movie 4? there isn't even a scream 4. someone needs to stop those wayans brothers. or at least convince them to do white chicks 2 first. get your priorities straight, bros.

mary-kate olsen has gotten a super sweet puppety to keep her company. never one to follow trends, m-k chooses a chocolate lab instead of a pocket-sized lap dog.

2005-03-10T12:37:00.000-05:00

lindsay lohan and bruce willis make quite a disgusting couple. good thing they're just posing for the camera at the premiere of his new film, hostage. no wait, they're groping each other. ewww!

julia stiles is a sore loser. she lost the lead in a film version of sylvia plath's novel, the bell jar and now she's suing her production partners over it. those ivy league actresses, nothing is ever good enough for them.

either kate moss is engaged or she's playing a mean trick on the gossip mongers. she's been spotted wearing a ring on her left hand, which many suspect may be from her on-again off-again druggie boyfriend, pete doherty.

one of madonna's former employees is suing her and maverick for wrongful termination and sexual harassment. madge must have gotten a little too close to the woman with her cone bra.

leonardo dicaprio hasn't looked this cold since his skin turned blue while treading water in the altantic for titanic. someone could use a ski mask.

christina milian is terrified of working out because she doesn't want to lose her booty. sounds like this is a job for gillian and teigh.

has britney spears been visited by the green-eyed monster? sources say that she's extremely jealous of all the attention that her husband, kevin federline has been receiving lately, even lashing out at clerks that she suspects of flirting with her man. britney, what's the big fuss? the dude stinks, literally.

gael garcia bernal is one fine mother chucker. we'd definitely tap that ass. and that's pretty much all there is to say.

hooking up with 15-year-olds and feeling up his daughter? marlon brando was a perv.

carmen electra has a agreed to voice the character of an alien sex slave for an animated show on mtv. that sounds about right.

sure, they're pretentious as hell (at least courtney is), but we're still stoked that the dandy warhols have a new cd planned for this summer. the dandys rule, ok?

nick carter understands that the way to get over a gruesome hangover spent in a jail cell is with some greasy carl's jr.

2005-03-09T16:22:00.000-05:00

we thought we picked a hard one this week, but it was nothing for you celebristalkers. you aced britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game again. what are we to do? we're embarrassed. the only erroneous guesses we received were julie cooper from "the oc" (she was last week, people) and marne patterson (we didn't even remember who she was). next week take a chance on a reader-submitted pic.

2005-03-09T11:48:00.000-05:00

britney, why do you have to make it so easy for us to tool on you? apparently she used the tote bag to tote her "bitch" bitbit into an italian restaurant that doesn't allow dogs.

rappers are so weird. 50 cent and the game are planning on ending their feud via a press conference starring the harlem boys choir. when the boy and i make up after an argument, we normally enlist the vocal stylings of rockapella.

sharon isn't the only member of the osbourne clan to have plastic surgery - ozzy recently admitted that he had a face lift and a nose job. couldn't you tell?

russell crowe claims that he figured into an al-Qaida plot to destabilize american culture, as the terrorists planned to kidnap him. he also claims that he is a target of alien abduction plans.

maggie gyllenhaal wants us to know she's a major movie star. just check out her accessories: a pair of oversized sunglasses and a friendly paparazzo.

sorry ryan, doesn't look like lindsay's going to make it to season three of "the oc". is julie cooper going to put a hit on her husband's illegitimate child?

if there's anyone out there who's still hoping to be a hanson, we have some bad news for you - little zac is following in his brother taylor's footsteps and marrying young. he announced that he is engaged and poked fun at taylor by adding, "no, she is not pregnant." now, only the ugly one is left.

leonardo dicaprio knew he was destined to lose the best actor oscar to jamie foxx, so he did what any true actor would do - he rehearsed the part of the good loser by practicing his reaction smile in the mirror before the awards.

is it just us or is ewan mcgregor looking a little metrosexual lately? between the product-laden hair, the leather-ish shirt and the eyeliner, he's putting kyan from "queer eye" to shame.

we didn't bother to report on the fact that fred durst was suing one of our idols, gawker, for linking to his sex tape because we figured the lawsuit wouldn't stick. we were right; durst sent gawker some flowers with a hand-written note to apologize. how sweet.

julia roberts is a new age mom. she's started meditating to cope with the stress of raising twins. julia, we suggest you consult deepak chopra.

marc anthony has painted a nude portrait of jennifer lopez from behind and she's smitten with it. we're smitten with her behind too.

matthew broderick and sarah jessica parker try to show a united front, despite the recent rumors that their marriage is in jeopardy...or maybe because of the recent rumors that their marriage is in jeopardy. they sure don't look too happy here.

bad news for perverts who love jaggers, good news for perverts who love lesbians.

tom cruise and sofia vergara have taken their relationship to the next level - he's met her mum. now, the purpose of the meeting we can't be sure of. it could be that sofia wanted to introduce her mother to her beau, or it could be that tom wanted to introduce another unsuspecting soul to the healing power of scientology.

renee zellweger brings some coffee to her new beau, damien rice. we always thought she was a coffee bean & tea leaf kind of gal. anyway, it seems this couple is moving along pretty quickly. word is, rice is camped out in renee's hollywood home.

2005-03-08T11:21:00.000-05:00

backstreet boy nick carter was behind bars for four hours on saturday after being arrested on suspicion of dui. there's one dui carter is certainly guilty of being: a damn ugly idiot.

it's quentin vs. jason. quentin tarantino, who will write and direct this year's season finale of "csi", is considering doing the same for the friday the 13th franchise. q, we have a suggestion for you - cast mike myers as michael myers. that would be cool.

prince william may be a little light in the loafers. it seems he's a huge fan of "desperate housewives" and won't leave the house if it's on. do they not have tivo in england?

rufus wainwright + alcohol, marijuana, cocaine and shrooms = cher, elton john, tina turner and yoko ono.

is it just us or is ashley olsen looking a little pudgy these days? seems like she's fallen victim to the infamous freshman 15.

shannon elizabeth and her husband of nearly three years, ape man joseph reitman, have decided to separate, but are pulling a brad and jen by still living together. on what planet does that work? p.s. we called this like two months ago.

hollywood makes bad decisions: sequels are being planned for elf and mrs. doubtfire. sofia coppola cast molly shannon in her marie antoinette movie.

jessica simpson and nick lachey couldn't possibly look more mismatched. while she's going for '40s glamour, he's going for the sloppy jock look. maybe jessica should spend more time on her own rumored to be failing marriage than other people's. she recently stopped a sparring couple at a farmer's market in santa monica to recommend that they get over their problems by rubbing lotion on each other. sound advice.

a british designer, whose name has not been released, plans to use mariah carey as a model for his next fashion show. ugh, mariah carey in couture. (vomits)

chris martin feels unloved. the very self-critical coldplay frontman claims, "i haven't met anyone who likes us for two years." oh chris, against our better judgment, we still do. just don't get too bono on us, okay?

it appears as though kate bosworth has taken to chewing her nails since breaking up with orlando bloom. from the looks of her slender frame, her nails are probably the only thing kate chews.

what's that sound? could it be the pitter patter of little feet? an oh no they didn't blogger heard on kiis fm that demi moore may be pregnant with a kutcher. if it's true, she better not watch this week's episode of "that '70s show" or she may have second thoughts.

ben affleck has a jealous streak. he got so uncomfortable watching his girlfriend, jennifer garner do a love scene on her show "alias" with ex-boyfriend michael vartan that he had to leave the room. funny, we heard garner loves watching the video for "jenny from the block".

christina aguilera and her fiance, jordan bratman hit up ralph's for the essentials: bread, roses and tacky stuffed animals.

2005-03-07T14:19:00.000-05:00

this lovely lady was recently spotted exiting the member's only spider club in los angeles. just which starlet was lucky enough to gain entry into the exclusive hang-out? leave your guesses in the comments section and come back wednesday evening for the reveal.

2005-03-07T12:48:00.000-05:00

britney spears took los angeles by storm this past weekend by doing a public breast self-exam, making her most evil smiley face and congratulating herself on her wifely accomplishments.

why is pink suddenly on the gossip radar again? she apparently broke up with her fiance (we didn't know they were engaged) corey hart after a fight in a taxi. let's hope she's not actually pregnant or else she'll be a single mama.

seems like "strange love" just isn't meant to be. brigitte nielsen broke flavor flav's heart this weekend by marrying her fiance, mattia dessi. vh1 must be furious that she just blew the ending of their reality show.

christina milian had better watch where she dips it. her sexy dance moves and saucy lyrics have won her a truckload of convict fans.

ben affleck attempts to hide himself from the other patrons on a trip to starbucks. it's not working - no other paparazzi pet would sport such a heinous beard.

though we knew jay mccarroll was a star when we saw the first episode of "project runway", he's now made that status official. he has an impersonator who's been getting into parties using his name and look.

wait, why is drea di matteo's boyfriend putting up with this crap? he should learn a thing or two from her tv boyfriend, christopher and have her whacked.

kelly osbourne's a liar. she announced that she would be playing the role of tracy turnblad in the broadway musical, hairspray, but the show's composer says she hasn't even auditioned. guess in addition to her big ass, she also has a big mouth.

josh hartnett is escorted downtown for indecent exposure. we wish, no big scoops here. the towel look is for a movie he's shooting.

kylie minogue must wish that the public could get her out of their head. she's just bought an australian island hideaway that is so remote there is only one store on it. but there are 3,000 koalas.

a defamer movie? sign us up.

someone needs to chain those hiltons to their cell phones. just after private information was leaked from paris's sidekick, her sister nicky lost her phone at the vanity fair oscar party. dumbasses.

hilary duff and her new boyfriend shove their relationship in joel madden's face. we didn't know hilary had jungle fever.

will smith thinks that, if he wanted to, he could become president of the united states. someone should tell michael moore to switch his candidate.

anna wintour got her just desserts last friday when a anti-fur activist threw a pie in her face as she was entering the chanel fall 2005 show in paris. or was it foie gras?

we knew shannen doherty was low, but we never knew she was a gold digger. she gave her phone number to the co-founder of microsoft the other night after first requesting that he trade her for some microsoft stock.

drew barrymore is stunned by the fact that she does indeed have a left hand. calm down drew - it's normal to have two of them.

2005-03-04T12:30:00.000-05:00

jessica simpson must be watching a lot of "saved by the bell: the college years". what else could explain the fact that she is channeling kelly kapowski circa 1994 with the long flowered dress and boots? girl, that look is beyond tired.

you can put away those t-shirts, martha's free now. and she's got the poncho to prove it.

paris lastis must be a hell of a lot better in bed than rick salomon. he made paris hilton moan so loudly while they were having sex that the hotel in which they were staying had to ask them to keep it down.

david duchovny and gillian anderson are set to star in a movie version of "the x files". i guess everyone forgot they already did that.

kate moss gets around. she's found a new rocker's heart to play with, sam endicott of the bravery. expect their album sales to skyrocket.

christina aguilera doesn't have any plans to be the "bigger woman" and invite britney spears to her wedding. she will be inviting justin timberlake, though. we can't blame her, britney would probably buy the cheapest thing on the registry.

jessica alba proves that she is, in fact, the kind of girl that every guy wants.

did janet jackson have another secret wedding? a filmmaker referred to her boyfriend, jermaine dupri, as a "married man" in a documentary that he shot. curious...

if you ever want to have a kirsten dunst encounter, try stopping by la's urth cafe for brunch. like in this picture, she's always there. they must do something magical with their omelets.

david and victoria beckham have proven that they have no idea what children want. for his birthday, they bought their 6-year-old son diamond earrings that cost nearly $50 k. he probably would have preferred a big wheel.

so the catwoman in the hat and tomb spider aren't real movies, they still make great posters (via defamer).

avril fool's! last year avril lavigne told her mom she was pregnant. lucky for her sum 41 boyfriend, deryck whibley, it was an april fool's joke.

gwyneth paltrow is serious when it comes to her privacy. she's having prospective buyers of her manhattan home sign non-disclosure agreements. jude law and sienna miller are rumored to be interested in the place.

sheen and richards update: charlie may have participated in a party with hookers, but chances are 50-50 that they'll get back together.

imdb news:

antonio banderas was the reason that gael garcia bernal skipped the oscars. he was angry that antonio was chosen to sing the song from his movie, the motorcycle diaries, instead of the song's creator, jorge drexler. we skipped the oscars because of antonio's wife, melanie griffith's dress.

jennifer aniston IS NOT a lesbian.

britney, close your mouth. and throw away that tube of lipstick. you shouldn't be buying your makeup at walgreens anyway.

2005-03-03T19:22:00.000-05:00

there are only a few women that get britpoppa's pulse racing and one of them is shane from "the l word". nothing makes us want to go lesbian like this androgynous babe, played by katherine moennig. the way she struts is out of this world. we wish her roving eye would rove over this way. on this week's episode, she hooked up with a techie who was working on a music video. now normally we can't take our eyes off shane, but the band in the video was amazing. they're a canadian group called the organ. picture a female interpol. we didn't think that would be appealing either, but they totally are - and much more emotional than their male counterparts (naturally). equal parts sleater kinney, joy division and early cure, the organ makes us want to cut off all our hair, throw on some black eyeliner and dance the night away. awesome.

the organ - brother
the organ - sinking hearts

2005-03-03T16:11:00.000-05:00

icy katie holmes has locked her death ray on chris klein's heart and set it to "break". she ended their year and a half engagement with the american pie dope two weeks ago. the couple had dated for five years. that's a fifth of young katie's life! maybe as a single girl, she'll finally land a decent role.

2005-03-03T11:18:00.000-05:00

ashton kutcher has officially made it. he's rich enough not to care about those atm fees. $1.50? no skin off ashton's nose.

according to page six six six, mary-kate olsen is back in rehab again. she's relapsed with her anorexia and is at the ucla medical center for treatment. guess that means she won't be making it to her internship with celebrity photographer annie leibovitz this week. ashley has a pretty glitzy internship as well, for zac posen. brats. not that we're jealous.

lindsay lohan news: she's lashing out at her dad, she's tried pot (duh), she might be interested in that reality show and she's been getting it on in bathrooms with this dude.

interview with the awesome jay mccarroll of "project runway" here. and see south park renditions of the show's entire cast here.

kristin davis of "sex and the city" loves a man with a sense of humor and a head of white hair. she's dating steve martin.

are paris hilton and nicole richie on the outs? page six's cindy adams says they spent their time at elton john's post-oscar bash actively ignoring each other. can't you bitches get over it and be friends again? please, for the sake of the country.

of course hilary duff, 17, and joel madden, 25, aren't dating. dudes carry wussy dogs in pink furry blankets for their "friends" all the time.

jude law can't take a joke. after being the punchline of chris rock's opening zingers at the academy awards on sunday, he promptly fired his agent. jude, don't take it too seriously. chris rock makes fun of white people. that's his thing.

at first we gave michael jackson the benefit of the doubt, but now we think he should get the electric chair. janet jackson's ex-husband is claiming that michael molested his sweet chimp bubbles. when asked to comment about his relations with bubbles, michael said that he merely gave him milk and cookies and it was "charming".

john voight must be reading the tabloids. voight attempted to have a talk with brad pitt about his alleged affair with his estranged daughter, angelina jolie, at an oscar party. brad, taking cues from jolie, blew voight off.

those footballers can be so mean. david beckham's real madrid teammates have been making fun of his new son's name, cruz. there's a possibility he may have to change it, since the law in spain prohibits giving children names of ambiguous gender.

if you're still wondering what happened to the original bennifer, j. lo provides some insight on a track from her new album. here's a sample, "like a coward, you're leaving, sitting here inside an empty room that was filled with us, only boxes to define what was left of what we used to call love." deep.

kelly osbourne shops for converse and vans sneakers in sydney, australia. guess she doesn't know they sell them over here too. another thing she doesn't know: your dad is not supposed to try and cop a feel.

we've been trying to get those creepy families from "showbiz moms and dads" out of our heads for a year now. we still have nightmares about little shane klingensmith. and while this website sure doesn't help us get over our fears (via page six six six), we're still looking forward to the spin off "showdog moms and dads". p.s. if there's any reason to see be cool, it's to catch cute little jordan moseley as cedric the entertainer's daughter.

see the first pic of stella mccartney's son and paul mccartney's grandson miller here. if we had that little guy to play with, we'd skip our paris runway show too.

jake gyllenhaal's been eatin' good in the neighborhood. read about the indie heartthrob's attempt at a peaceful meal at applebee's. they have awesome batter-dipped fries!

denise richards, who is six months pregnant with her second child, has filed for divorce from her husband of nearly three years, charlie sheen. we thought they were going to be together forever. nothing makes for a lasting marriage like a post-pregnancy playboy shoot.

halle berry auditions for a spot on the next episode of "stars without makeup". at this point, anything is a step up from catwoman.

2005-03-02T20:31:00.000-05:00

oops, we goofed! we've been so busy packing up to move out of our parents' house that we haven't been checking our favorite blogs. unfortunately, you guys have. the victim of britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game was already featured on go fug yourself and you knew it. so, yes, that was melinda clarke of "the oc" under the black box. ya'll are too good.

2005-03-02T12:01:00.000-05:00

rachel ray shows a little leg for the paparazzi. we hear she'll blow your mind for only $40 a day. more pictures of the food slut here.

sienna miller and jude law are attempting to live the life of "green acres". they wish to escape the london spotlight by moving to the country. we just can't picture cosmopolitan sienna on the farm.

kevin smith has a new golden boy: zach braff. the director hinted that braff is up for the role of fletch in fletch won. braff as a modern day chevy chase? we can see that (via golden fiddle).

brad pitt and jennifer aniston have been spied swapping spit. can't they just stop toying with our emotions for chrissake?

keira knightley shops in her de rigeur seguin bolero. do you have one yet? if not, you're the only one.

the gap's been digging on joss stone. and it seems like she's digging on them too. they've enlisted her as a model for their upcoming fall campaign.

christina aguilera on celebrity fashion lines: "i just think it is so tacky. i have always thought that it's one of those things that just makes people look like they don't know what to do any more." we couldn't have put it better ourself.

julia roberts loves her new children, it's her other new babies that are bothering her. she complained to reporters at the oscars about how much her breasts have grown since giving birth. when asked about her choice of gown, she said, "it's the only dress brave enough to hold in my breast line."

kate beckinsale enjoys a cigarette while shopping with her young daughter. doesn't she know that parents are the anti-drug?

now we know why flaming al reynolds married star jones - he must have mistaken her for a drag queen.

cameron diaz is sick of her boyfriend, justin timberlake doing very bad things. her particular concern? the popstar continues calling and consoling his poptart ex, britney spears.

scarlett johansson had better watch out. her boyfriend, jared leto seems like a bit of a cad. while being interviewed by the swan's sexy host amanda byram, he nearly humped her leg.

"i'll call you pen. peace!" tom cruise gives penelope cruz a soul shake before driving off on his chopper. get the scoop on other exes hanging out at the oscars here.

2005-03-01T14:28:00.000-05:00

if you don't know, britpoppa's taken on a second blogosphere job, working at the bosh. this has made us very busy and unable to give britpoppa the attention it deserves. it is for reasons such as this that we will be posting previously published material for today's hart. forgive us. sometimes it's hard to be a woman, giving all your love to just one blog. without further ado, britpoppa's best and worst dressed of the academy awards.

britpoppa's top 5 best dressed
5. Natalie Portman - looked stunning in a grey, Grecian Lanvin. She would have made it further up the list had the color been more flattering.
4. Kirsten Dunst - did right eschewing her current bag lady look for a classy, lace Chanel.
3. Oprah Winfrey - Oprah's out to prove herself as a true glamorous diva after slimming down to a size ten. She looked fabulous in a gold Vera Wang.
2. Catalina Sandino Moreno - though most viewers probably had no clue who Catalina was when the show began, the Best Actress nominee got well-deserved attention with her bejeweled backless Roberto Cavali gown. Que bonita!
1. Maggie Gyllenhaal - she has made many missteps when it comes to the red carpet, but she blew everyone else out of the water in her beige Prada dress with a sequined belt and simple jewels. The gown was modern and lovely, making Maggie a fashion icon.

britpoppas's top 5 worst dressed
5. Johnny Depp - you can't expect much from an expatriate with a "don't give a f**k" attitude. Still, that blue suit is hideous.
4. Beyonce Knowles - there was nothing wrong with the dress that Beyonce wore while performing "Learn to be Lonely" from the Phantom of the Opera. It was actually quite lovely. The bad part was her bling; it was way over the top.
3. While many declared Cate Blanchett to be one of the night's best dressed in her Valentino Couture, she looked washed out in the yellow shade, which clashed terribly with the burgundy sash.
2. Scarlett Johansson looked as if she stuck her fingers in the toaster, arriving with the frizziest mop top that Oscar has seen in years. Her Roland Mouret gown, though beautiful, looked uncomfortable and paper stiff.
1. Oh Melanie Griffith. What were you thinking? There are no words.

2005-03-01T09:38:00.000-05:00

gwyneth paltrow decides that breast pump shopping is a private affair, leaving baby apple at home. too bad the paparazzi decided to invite themselves along. and it seems as though she's learned her lesson when it comes to her vespa. gwyneth's scooter was recently towed when she parked it illegally on the sidewalk while running some errands. she left it behind for this trip. and for the record, she and husband, chris martin are not "on the rocks". she didn't bring him to the oscars because she didn't want their relationship to undergo red carpet scrutiny. plus, he didn't know what to wear.

you want to sell men's clothes? try putting a hot woman in them. that's what dolce and gabbana are doing. the duo is having eva mendes model their menswear line - one piece at a time. we can't wait to see her in just the vest.

ben kingsley's separation is so fresh that his wife's side of the bed is still warm. but that hasn't kept the sexy beast from moving onto a new little woman. he was overheard at a post-oscar party telling winona ryder, "i'm totally available!"

hollywood stalker news: halle berry has received a restraining order against the stalker who believed she wanted him to move in with her. meanwhile, a drifter who's been accused of stalking mel gibson will act as his own lawyer in his trial for breaking a restraining order gibson received against him. good luck, dude.

jessica simpson's recent hospitalization has shed off all of the last bits of body fat she had left. check the tiny space she's squeezed in between!

martha stewart will be a whole new woman when she's released from prison. she's lost 20 pounds in the slammer due to yoga and horrendous food. the domestic diva is now a size twelve, but still too big to fit into those seven jeans.

the real reason orlando bloom and kate bosworth broke up may have been because he was sick of the 22-year-old's girlish ways and prepubescent figure. if so, he's found the complete opposite in siren, salma hayek. the two were seen giggling and holding hands at a post-oscar event.

lizzie grubman's in trouble with the law again, but at least this time the only thing she ran over was a former employee's career. the ex-worker claims she was promised a role on grubman's upcoming mtv series as well as a partnership in her pr firm. she's suing for $6 million, but she should probably be thanking grubman for saving her from a life as a reality tv whore.

no, reese witherspoon is not munching on an oreo. she's applying lip balm. besides, she's too good a mother to ava to set a bad example by spoiling her supper with junk food.

celebrity kids are getting into trouble left and right: chaka khan's son, 25-year-old damien patrick holland was charged with shooting a 17-year-old boy, while judi dench's 32-year-old daughter was given a 3-month suspended jail sentence for driving drunk with her 7-year-old son in the car. for shame.

paris, it's safe to put britney spears's number in your next sidekick. she's retracted the comment she made about her dogs being cuter than your pooch, tinkerbell. in fact, she said, "i was just being silly and of course i think that tinkerbell is very cute. who knows? maybe they will have a little play date together!" as reward for clearing this up, we hope you and britney invite us along.

peta may be all for the ethical treatment of animals, but they sure don't care about the treatment of jennifer lopez. they will be protesting her sweetface line's use of fur outside virgin records where lopez will be making a promotional appearance for her new album, out today. maybe jen will "get right" and drop the fur in the spring 2006 line.

pamela anderson looked refreshed and gorgeous leaving a pre-oscar party. by refreshed and gorgeous we mean drunk and hideous.

carl winslow should have taken this family matter into his own hands. his tv daughter, jaimee foxworth has gotten into porn. wonder if she's done any scenes with steven urquelle.

speaking of tgif, mary-kate and ashley's uncle jesse can finally become their lover jesse, since john stamos is now officially divorced from rebecca romijn. it's cool; they were never actually related. and can you blame them? his hair is to die for.

and since we're on the topic of ashley olsen, it looks as though she may have had a late night with the uncle last night. we know a hungover mini-mogul when we see one.

2005-02-28T13:02:00.000-05:00

no one better get angry over this one. last week we gave you all the opportunity to send us your own pictures for britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. no one did. thus, we had to come up with our own image for you to ponder over this week. don't blame us if it's too easy, but go ahead and send us a picture for next week if you want. britpoppa at gmail.com. you can black out the features yourself or send us a pre-blacked out face. for this one, leave your guesses in the comments section and come back wednesday evening to find out who's behind that black box.

2005-02-28T11:26:00.000-05:00

britney spears is longing for the innocence and wonder of her wedding day. she's gone brunette again and was seen with husband kevin federline attending a showing of the wedding date in her hometown of kentwood. looks to us like she's rocking nice and easy.

just in case you live under a rock (clearly not chris), last night was the oscars. for a list of the winners (million dollar baby), click here. for some oscar gowns, click here and here (hart will feature britpoppa's best and worst tomorrow). also, defamer blogged the show. it's probably funny, but we don't feel like reading it. one nominee who almost missed the event was leonardo dicaprio. he nearly died when he choked on a carrot last week. and don't forget the independent spirit awards. the winners of those, held saturday, are here.

hilary swank almost didn't win her second oscar for best actress. not because she and annette benning were in a tight race. no, she's lucky that neither sandra bullock nor ashley judd were the star of million dollar baby. maybe she should be cursing the actresses instead of thanking them - reports are swirling that her success is getting to husband, chad lowe. we don't buy that for a second, though. theirs is one of the only hollywood marriages that seems genuinely in good shape.

stella mccartney may have to miss out on her line's paris runway show this week. she just gave birth to her first child, a son. let's hope she doesn't ape pal, gwyneth paltrow and name him orange.

the video fred durst's limp bizkit was stolen from his computer by a repair man. a note to celebrities: clean out your "p" file and save that stuff to disk (via oh no they didn't).

wow, christina aguilera looks normal again. not goth slut or marilyn monroe wannabes here. just a lovely bride-to-be. maybe her wedding will actually be a classy affair.

elisa's dish:

mary-kate olsen must have watched "project runway". when she ran into the show's big winner, jay mccarroll at bungalow 8, she asked him to design for her. we hope he can do the hobo look.

cynthia nixon and her lover, christine marinoni must not read victory lap or the new york times; they've moved to park slope, brooklyn.

chris rock took his breaks in between jokes while hosting last night's oscars to play playstation. rock, 8-bit nintendo is where it's at.

look's like tom cruise has already started brainwashing his new girlfriend. sofia vergara has been visiting the scientology centre. guess that means she's being hounded by body thetans as well as the paparazzi.

close call; david beckham was nearly egged after he blew a game with his footie team, real madrid. maybe it's the crazy fans that have made victoria beckham decide to move back to the uk.

sarah jessica parker's son, james, does a little dance for her. maybe he'll want to follow in his mother's footsteps and be a child star. "square pegs" could really use a comeback.

aaron carter likes to get high without a shirt on. we have the pictures to prove it.

if you wrote a script and could have any actor in the world play your lead, who would you choose? a screenwriter from alton, mo. dreamed of josh hartnett. when he couldn't contact him, he placed an ad in hartnett's local paper. guess tom cruise's paper had reached it's ad quota for the week.

the search for the next james bond is still going, with a seemingly different frontrunner for every news source. some say julian mcmahon from nip/tuck. others claim it's between clive owen and some random dude.

jennifer lopez is pregnant. though she "has yet to tell friends of her happy news", somehow the tabloids know. something smells fishy here, and it's not marc anthony's breath. though, perhaps her pregnancy can explain why the diva, normally dressed to the nines, has been going out in ratty sweatshirts like this one. yuck.

too good to be true: shannon elizabeth participates in naked treasure hunts in los angeles. i think many a man would say that shannon elizabeth naked is treasure enough for them.

"the bachelorette" 3-hour finale airs tonight on abc. jen schefft has definitely been coy about the results, not indicating that she has fell in love. word is, she dumped jerry shortly after agreeing to marry him.

it seems like jessica's not the only one in her household who's been dabbling in drugs. page sixsixsix got a tip that nick lachey is addicted to steroids and alcohol (via pink is the new blog).

scarlett johansson hasn't gotten the memo about uggs being out of style. she rocked this pair at disneyland last weekend. wonder what she's looking up at. maybe she's expecting dumbo to fly overhead.

2005-02-25T14:56:00.000-05:00

into self-punishment? want to make yourself throw up? want to see fred durst's limp bizkit? if so, click here (warning: you may be plagued with adware). if not, you've officially passed britpoppa's sanity test.

2005-02-25T10:22:00.000-05:00

mary-kate olsen was photographed outside a clinic in los angeles the other day. we suspect that she was not there for her eating disorder, but, in fact, for her bowleggedness.

jenna elfman and scientologists are completely fucking crazy. no wonder she signed on for "dharma and greg".

could another golden couple be on the verge of a breakdown? the mirror reports that gwyneth paltrow and chris martin have been arguing in public, with one row ending with gwyneth storming out of nobu after waiting for a table. gwyneth paltrow had to wait for a table? nobu, get your shit together.

natalie portman caused quite a stir in jerusalem the other day. she was filming a kissing scene by the sacred western wall, an action that is strictly taboo, provoking witnesses to shout and boo at her. this likely isn't the first time portman's been booed - remember "where the heart is"?

hilary duff's gone hipster. see more pictures of her with the cool kids at misshapes here and read an account of the sighting here.

is demi moore going to play summer's mom on "the oc" or are she and ashton just punking us? get the scoop here (via defamer).

jennifer lopez has finally fessed up to being mrs. marc anthony. hey, if we were married to a man with that frog-faced mug, we'd wait seven months to admit it too.

john travolta is being considered for a role as an overweight drag queen in the hairspray movie musical. yup, sounds about right.

finally, the truth about jennifer love hewitt emerges: she's a geek. and not the nerdy kind, the chicken head biting kind.

whitney houston has been barfing up a storm (and she probably has the runs, too). the singer came down with a case of gastroenteritis on a flight to paris and had to be hospitalized. we heard she initially started spewing when she learned that the inflight entertainment included the video for her duet with husband, bobby brown, "something in common".

after catching wind of whitney's unfortunate barf bag incident, we thought seeing a celebrity puking would make our life complete. not so, this picture just left us cold.

mtv had two julie browns. one was totally awesome and the other was a pretentious mega-bitch. guess which one is suing abc for giving her scars (physical, not emotional)?

madonna doesn't ditch her signature earflap cap, but manages to look truly botticelli-esque the other day outside the mercer hotel in new york. we wonder, though, if she has an amazing apt there, why does she stay at the mercer?

2005-02-24T22:54:00.000-05:00

have you ever heard of the association? and if you have heard of them, have you ever seen them? even if the answers to the first two question are "no", we bet you have heard them. they're responsible for the "terrible-rific" song, "windy" that sort of terrorized us when it was combined with "sweatin' to the oldies". richard simmons, ughhhh. anyway, we've recently been reintroduced to them, and haven't been able to get "cherish" out of our heads since then. we defy you to listen to the track and not meet the same consequences.

the association - windy
the association - cherish

2005-02-24T11:12:00.000-05:00

"ben, you shrunk!" jennifer garner looks in wonder at her tiny boyfriend. she knew the bad press he'd gotten lately made him feel small, but she had no idea he meant it literally.

brad pitt and jennifer aniston continue to toy with the emotions of the american people. they spent valentine's day together enjoying chinese food from mr. chow.

aniston's onscreen love, david schwimmer has landed a starring role in a london play in which he will portray a womanizer. like david schwimmer has any game.

don't go trying to gyp gwyneth paltrow. she recorded a satellite message for her designer pal, matthew williamson to play at his london runway show, but was disappointed when she discovered she would not be receiving a goodie bag for her efforts, demanding that one be sent to her. sounds like she's fighting her buddy madonna for the title of material girl.

if pink's hair is black now, then shouldn't she change her name? hey girl, where you been? oh that's right, you were getting knocked up.

tv news: jerry o'connell's less famous brother may be the next bachelor. can you say d-list? james van der beek may return to television. can't say we missed him.

britney spears, paris hilton and pamela anderson have been banned from attending the oscars in an attempt to avoid the event becoming "downmarket scrum". we can't blame the academy, we didn't invite them to our oscar party either.

lindsay lohan has all the hottest gossip. she spilled the beans to paris via email that jessica simpson is a cokehead. then they made fun of ashlee together (via oh no they didn't). those sort of mean-spirited antics might be the reason she and her mother, dina, got death threats from her dad.

could the hilton family fortune have taken a hit from the sidekick incident? we can't think of any other reason why nicky would be compelled to dig for gold. maybe she needs it to bribe fergie from the black eyed peas. we hear she wants to kill paris.

what's the hottest trend in hollywood right now? bacon whores, hooters-type women who come to your home and cook you bacon. justin timberlake and brad pitt are fans. duh (via golden fiddle).

jack osbourne has lost his bling. someone robbed watches from his suitcase that were worth $382,000. our watch is worth $32. jc penney, jack - look into it.

nick carter is puzzled. why wasn't his phone number in paris hilton's address book? his sidekick should be buzzing off the hook right now. if only he had prank callers to keep him company. . .

ben stiller and his stick figure wife, melody from "hey dude!" are expecting baby number two. what will they call the baby if it's a girl? marcia, marcia, marcia.

hugh grant and jemima kahn are nesting. they're looking into purchasing a $50 million estate on the island off the cote d'azur where the man in the iron mask was imprisoned. for that much money, the place better come with a miniature leo.

kate bosworth engages in competitive tug-o-war to keep slim. she also engages in the kate moss boho look to keep hip.

2005-02-23T23:13:00.000-05:00

congratulations jay! we always knew you were "in".

2005-02-23T17:19:00.000-05:00

you guys are too good. you must read every tabloid in the check out line. sometimes we feel like we just can't compete. only a couple of you misstepped on britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game, identifying reese witherspoon as an olsen twin and rosario dawson and jason lewis as ian klaus and chelsea clinton. so we propose this: does anyone want to supply next week's pic? if you do, you can send it to us at britpoppa at gmail.com. we can black out the features or you can send one already blacked out, so that even we have to guess. this will be fun!

2005-02-23T10:55:00.000-05:00

it looks like ewan mcgregor uses a hands-on approach when it comes to teaching his kids about the birds and the bees. he should be careful or he might have a michael jackson situation to deal with.

don't let paris hilton's sidekick hacker give you any ideas - he's in big trouble. and don't go clicking this link, either. the feds might track you down. but do click here to find out what paris had to say about her virtual theft.

save the penguins! puff daddy recently hosted a party in miami for the opening of a swank new hotel, including penguins as pool decorations. the penguins were terrified of falling into the pool's warm water, prompting peta to send p. did a big "hiss!"

tom cruise is crazy. he's supposedly dating a fiery latin beauty, but he still has time to put together a scientology tent for the crew of war of the worlds. someone should be spending a little more of his off time in the sack.

hunter s. thompson likely planned his recent suicide, says a friend. he wanted his death to be a celebration. the festivities will begin with his ashes being blasted across his property in a cannon. so punk rock. read britpoppa idol, kurt loder's reflections on the icon here.

beyonce chews on a candy cigarette while deplaning last week. okay, so maybe it's not a candy cigarette, but we're really trying to bring them back, so let's just pretend for a minute.

the gotti boys weren't always the sleek, gel-covered "heartthrobs" they are now. frank was once a fatty.

high school shout-out: britpoppa's former classmate, nina stotler was quoted in page six today! apparently she didn't enjoy her mermaid duties at nyc bar, coral room. from montgomery village, md to the big apple's biggest tabloid paper! congrats!

pop-punk heroes, blink 182, have announced that they are taking an "indefinite hiatus" with the group. we suspect that "all the small things" built up to cause the break up.

tori amos cements her status as a rock queen by going out dressed in royal purple the other day in nyc. all hail tori.

jessica simpson suffered from the flu that seems to be hitting all the major celebrities lately (lindsay lohan, michael jackson, et. al). she was briefly hospitalized in chicago on monday while in town shooting a segment for "oprah".

speaking of jessica, she and husband, nick lachey are continuing to take their pda sessions on tour, in an attempt to fight off rumors that their relationship is on the verge of a breakdown. the latest stop? chris rock's secret show at the laugh factory, where their kissing was distracting the audience as well as rock. what's next for the couple? a possible ironic duet on a moby track?

don't expect prince charles and camilla's wedding to be a replay of his elaborate nuptials to princess diana. the event will be very low key and even the queen has turned down an invitation.

jake gyllenhaal is a little bit self conscious about his bald head. don't worry, it's for a movie role, his locks will be back soon.

robbie williams is never one to pass up a trend. he's collaborating with the scissor sisters for a track on his next album. at least this one should be good.

more austin scarlett news: if you're still lamenting the fact that the fashion designing pixie will not be on tonight's "project runway" finale, get your fix of him by reading tv guide's interview.

couldn't get into harvard? no problem, britpoppa has found the school for you. jay-z will be opening the s carter academy in new york this spring. the school will instruct on music, sports and fashion. maybe pharrell williams will be a professor.

we hate to admit it, but david beckham is pretty gorgeous, especially with the permanent smile he's been wearing since the birth of his third son, cruz. he must smell good too, because he and his wife, victoria are going to release their own fragrances.

2005-02-22T16:30:00.000-05:00

did anyone care about paris hilton in 2001? we think not. that's why we're heading back to that hallowed year to bring you the best gossip that money can buy - all at no cost to you!

four years ago we overheard a real know-it-all saying that:

liam neeson credited martin scorsese for his recovery from a motorbike accident. his incentive to get better was starring in gangs of new york. unfortunately, neeson's determination wasn't rewarded with an oscar nod. he was snubbed again this year, despite his noteworthy performance in kinsey.

jennifer lopez had fired her bodyguard for getting caught smuggling marijuana into canada. she went on to fire second husband, chris judd - possibly for smuggling shakira videos into their home.

guy ritchie regular, vinnie jones had managed to piss off john travolta on the set of swordfish by flying the british flag from his trailer. perhaps travolta put a scientology hex on jones - he hasn't made many big films since then.

russell crowe and his proof of life director, taylor hackford were not too friendly during filming. crowe even called hackford a "fucking idiot" and a "knob". russ is as volatile as ever. problems with the director of his film with nicole kidman, eucalyptus, has delayed the movie indefinitely.

on february 22, 2001:

tamara mello was half way to 50.

drew barrymore turned 26. holy shit, she's thirty today!

jeri ryan turned 33.

rachel dratch turned 35.

steve irwin turned 39.

kyle maclachlan turned 42.

julie walters turned 51.

jonathan demme turned 57.

billy name turned 61.

ted kennedy turned 69.

tori amos and mark hawley celebrated their third anniversary.

2005-02-22T11:40:00.000-05:00

jessica simpson shows her love for her sister by wearing an '80s-fied ashlee simpson shirt. we swear to god we have practically the same one from when we saw debbie gibson in the third grade.

wonder woman? more like wonder matron. jessica biel is dueling with kim basinger over the comic book heroine part in a joss whedon-penned film. isn't kim like 50 years old? barf.

nicole richie has vowed to never get liposuction after witnessing the procedure while filming "the simple life". we would hope she wouldn't get lipo. the only fat on her 97-pound body is in her boobs. and what's a blonde without boobs?

rem just can't escape the tour woes. mike mills, the only member of the band who had yet to have his health affect a tour, was hospitalized last night for a severe case of the flu, forcing the band to cancel a sheffield, uk, gig. has he been hanging around michael jackson?

sisqo and samantha mumba are expecting their first child together in july. what got sisqo turned on enough to sow his seed? must have been that thong-tha-thong-thong-thong.

ashton kutcher and demi moore snuggle up after their plane lands in los angeles. they had gone on a mexican getaway for valentine's day that, unfortunately, did not result in marriage. ashton, make an honest woman out of this lady, quick!

turns out the event for which cameron diaz and justin timberlake went to las vegas was an engagement party. the couple celebrated their relationship with their friends at the hard rock hotel. can't anyone just bite the bullet and get married already?

britpoppa's favorite closet case, nyc scenester, fabian basabe, is having to fight allegations that he punched a marquee clubgoer in the face. we doubt he did it, but it's not unlike a queen to start a cat fight. meow!

more news from paris hilton's hacked sidekick: could she be tipping off the tabloids? a note that she left herself seems to indicate that she may have told an us weekly editor that jessica simpson was eyeing justin timberlake. hmmm...

ashlee simpson dresses as the ringleader for the circus that is sure to be her live act. check out more pics of her heinous stage wear here.

pam anderson normally makes us want to reach for a barfbag, but she's pretty cool when it comes to animal activism. last week, while in vegas, the former "v.i.p." star refused to get into an elevator with a woman wearing fur. nice move, blondie.

who knew sean connery liked to bump his tunes like a baller? he's being sued by a neighbor who claims that he has made it impossible to get any rest. the neighbor said, "plays loud music at all hours". pretty impressive for a 74-year-old.

like father, like daughter. lizzie jagger's a slut.

jude law and sienna miller are just like us! except we can't afford to shop at barney's co-op. and our doors t-shirts aren't designer; they were handed down to us by our drunk uncle. jude's taken his fiancee's hard partying ways into his own hands. he's signed on for a movie set in london, in part to keep an eye on her.

slash without a top hat is like lindsay lohan without a mondo pair of jumblies: unrecognizable. the iconic former guns 'n roses member lost his signature headwear in a limo at the grammys. when asked to comment, slash said, "that hat was like a sweet child o' mine!"

fun distractions for the bored:

take an impossible oscar quiz

learn austin scarlett's life story and peruse his interview with the advocate (via page sixsixsix)

read about season four of "america's next top model"

tom cruise doesn't seem to like american girls (though we doubt he likes any girls). his latest love interest (at least for the sake of the press) is latin starlet, sofia vergara. her nickname is "sofia viagra". that's a good thing since viagra's probably the only way cruise could get it up for a woman.

gwyneth paltrow braves the cold in her north face bubble jacket. be careful, gywnnie, those things are really hot right now.

2005-02-21T16:33:00.000-05:00

we've been so excited about finding paris hilton's real myspace, learning that she may have a drug problem and reading about jennifer aniston's lesbian affairs with a whalberg that we completely forgot to tell you that little michelle branch is pregnant with her 40-year-old husband's spawn. that's right, the 21-year-old and her bassist hubby will be having a baby in five months. she announced the somewhat disturbing news on the messageboard for her side project, the wreckers. the couple have only been married nine months.

2005-02-21T16:19:00.000-05:00

apparently the guessing game we posted earlier was for babies. too easy, you cried. well here's another one for you to sniff out. this time no hints. and it doesn't count unless you can name both people. leave your guesses in the comments section and come back wednesday for the reveal. p.s. you can still work on the baby game if you're not good enough to play with the big boys.

2005-02-21T13:48:00.000-05:00

can you name whose nose and eyes have been blocked for britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game? much to our dismay, this lovely lady has been keeping herself out of the spotlight lately. she risks some much needed exposure to get a mani/pedi. way to pamper yourself, girl! leave your guesses in the comments section and come back wednesday to find out who's behind those pink nails.

2005-02-21T10:51:00.000-05:00

paris hilton was happier before her sidekick was hacked and all her friends (like amy sacco and victoria gotti) had to change their phone numbers. here she is just days before the information was released, celebrating her 24th birthday with beau, paris lastis. and here are some pics of the hilton clan enjoying disney world.

brooklyn, romeo, cruz. the beckhams welcomed their third son into the world on sunday via a scheduled c-section. only posh and becks could be so busy that they had to schedule their child's birth.

dolce and gabbana has pulled a proenza schouler. domenico dolce and stefano gabbana have ended their nearly two decade long relationship, but will remain business partners.

don't waste your time watching the finale of "the bachelorette" next week. star claims that jen schefft has already broken up with the man she chose and is seeing her boss.

poor wes anderson. his girlfriend of two years, tara subkoff (of imitation of christ and american pie), has dumped him for liev schreiber. wes, we say good riddens. and liev, we say dump her quick!

madonna will be playing a transvestite in an upcoming movie. she has nabbed the role of warhol favorite, candy darling and will play him for free. so many drag queens have portrayed the material girl over the years that we're guessing she felt she owed it to them.

we wonder if lindsay lohan preemptively changed her phone number before paris's address book got published. we were a little late to the party and didn't get a chance to try phoning her. besides, enduring phonecalls from the likes of britpoppa is the last thing little lindsay needs. her dad got arrested AGAIN for dwi this weekend and is trying to con the family into doing a reality show. busty lohan is also getting a breast reduction - digitally - for her film, herbie: fully loaded. according to screening reactions, her Ts were too big for a family film.

even katie couric isn't above playing games to get what she wants in relationships. she used her newly ex-boyfriend, trumpet player chris botti, to win her old ex-boyfriend, tom werner, back.

hunter s. thompson was found dead in his home on sunday after apparently shooting himself. it's unknown whether he was hopped up on goofballs at the time.

this will be a wedding to remember. marilyn manson and his fiancee, dita von teese, plan on getting married in april. we're doubting the bride will wear white.

renee zellweger must have a thing for musicians. just a few months after her break up with jack white was made official, she's been out on the town with mercury prize winner, damien rice. wonder how white's handling this "cannonball".

justin timberlake adjusts his "putter" while enjoying a lovely day on the golf course. nice argyle, dorkus.

britpoppa loves koko and we're guessing koko would love us. it seems she has a thing for the ladies. two women who worked with the sign language fluent gorilla said that they were threatened with being fired if they didn't show her their nipples.

steven tyler and his wife of 17 years, teresa, have separated. when asked to comment, teresa said, "it finally hit me. dude looks like a lady."

elizabeth hurley played the devil in bedazzled and now she'll play a witch in harry potter and the order of the phoenix. she's being tapped for the role of bellatrix lestrange, one of voldemort's followers.

jordan bratman didn't make his proposal easy on fiancee, christina aguilera. she had to find the ring by participating in a scavenger hunt. celebrities have too much time on their hands.

kelly osbourne may soon be employing the stomach stapling that her mother used to get rid of all that unsightly flab. to see some unsightly crack (not recommended), click here.

in case you're not down with the dead presidents, apparently abraham lincoln is really hot right now. wasn't he always hot? as the boy knows, we love a man with a full beard.

news flash: aaron carter is a dick.

jessica simpson is not letting husband, nick lachey, get off easy. she got revenge on him for hitting on some women at a superbowl party by flirting with john mayer at the grammys. she's just dying to hear him tell her that her body is a wonderland.

we guess it's not that hard to get over portia derossi. the woman that she left for ellen degeneres, francesca gregorini, has moved on to the director of boys don't cry, kimberly peirce. seems like girls don't cry either.

britney spears goes out for a few errands in kentwood. she remembered to bring her strawberry shortcake glass from home, but forgot her bra. avert your eyes!

2005-02-18T07:54:00.000-05:00

we're sorry to say that britpoppa will be m.i.a. for the next couple of days. we're going on a mini holiday . . . to pittsburgh.

2005-02-17T13:02:00.000-05:00

mischa barton went out on the town with her mary-kate beaded necklace and her newly slim boyfriend, brandon davis, on valentine's day. we didn't know brandon was an acdc fan.

april florio is changing her story again. instead of insisting that brad pitt tried to kiss her, she's now insisting that their meeting was so casual, he probably doesn't even remember her. it's true, she doesn't seem very memorable. if you insist on knowing more about her, learn the shape of her curves in this bikini shot.

george michael has announced he is quitting his job as a pop star and will begin working behind the scenes in the music industry. this comes as bad news to the scores of models he helped make even bigger names for themselves in his groundbreaking videos. don't worry, gals - another closeted cokehead will come along soon enough.

thank you, usa. thank you, ims. thank you for my citizenship! welcome to one of our country's newest citizens: alanis morisette. she's got one hand in her pocket and the other one's holding her new pasport.

wilmer valderrama seems to have his hopes set on popping every cherry in hollywood. his newest conquest is ashlee simpson. ash has been visiting wilmer on the set of his new movie for burgers, fries and whoopee.

elizabeth hurley looks damn good for 39. of course it's not that hard to look good in a bikini when you're a slight 105 lbs. hurley is launching her own line of upscale swimwear that will be sold at saks and on her website in april. check out more pictures from her photoshoot here.

britney spears is super pissed that her "private" honeymoon pictures have been published in numerous places. in a statement that she issued, britney said that the pictures were supposedly taken by resort workers who promised to keep the shots to themselves. just goes to show you, you can't trust anyone making minimum wage.

on the subject of the trailer trash couple, it seems as though the cheetos just aren't cutting it anymore. britney and kevin will soon start taking cooking lessons from a chef. knowing them, it's probably chef boyardee.

big surprise, one of the people who worked with paris and nicole on "the simple life" thinks they're "bitches from hell". we think that and we've never even met them. of course, britpoppa loves bitches.

either johnny depp thinks it's 1987 or he's trying to bring back mirrored sunglasses. they should make him quite popular in la. everyone's always looking in the mirror there.

it turns out george lucas is the biggest star wars nerd of them all. he's given himself a small role as baron papanoida in revenge of the sith. look for him in the opera house scene, unless his part is cut out.

jessica biel may have gotten nearly nude in that gear photoshoot years ago, but don't expect her to go all the way. she's currently searching for a body double for a film she is working on. her main requirement? natural breasts.

gavin rossdale is the kind of guy every girl dreams of: tall, dark and handsome. he even knows how to get to a gal's heart - through potatoes? he once sent wife, gwen stefani, two sacks of the spuds for valentine's day. romantic.

snoop d o double g sported a hot red fur coat in london recently. we're not fans of fur, but denying a pimp his mink is like denying britney spears her red bull - impossible.

2005-02-16T22:55:00.000-05:00

sophia bush, would you put a real shirt on? if you don't start covering up your bras, your fiance, chad michael murray, might leave you for lindsay lohan - she knows how to use double-stick tape.

some of you managed to nail the semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. the rest of you wrongly accused some actresses of a fashion faux pas. your victims: courteney cox, jorja fox and the baby of laura linney and holly hunter (as far as we know, no such baby exists - we bet the enquirer would like to get their hands on that story).

2005-02-16T12:42:00.000-05:00

i'm not feeling clever today. on to 2001's gossip.

four years ago today, people were chattering about:

erin brockovich. she was excited to be going to the oscars where she would see julia roberts, who portrayed her on screen, win the award for best actress. remember when people cared about erin brockovich? that was lame.

speaking of julia, she caused some talk when she used the men's room at la eatery, the ivy, because the line for the ladies' room was too long. she may actually get away with using the men's room now that she has a son's diapers to change.

farrah fawcett. she tried the infamous, "don't you know who i am?" line on a cop who was writing her a parking ticket. she ran out of the store where she was trying on shoes at the time. the line didn't work. she ended up paying for the ticket and the shoes. now her on-again/off-again boyfriend, ryan o'neal, is the one doing the running - after her - on the reality show "chasing farrah".

tom cruise and nicole kidman. it was rumored that they both had hired private investigators to dig up dirt on each other for their divorce case. nicole recently found a listening device planted outside her australian home. wonder if tommy's responsible for that one?

george clooney. he decided to keep dating model, lisa snowdon, because she got approval from his pet pig, max. though he and snowdon broke up later, george must still value max's input. they're back together now.

on february 16, 2001:

ice t turned 43.

levar burton turned 44.

sonny bono would have been 66.

2005-02-16T11:11:00.000-05:00

christina aguilera stepped out on valentine's day wearing the huge rock her fiance, jordan bratman gave her. if we had a genie in a bottle, we'd ask for something a little more low key.

nic cage may not have been able to score himself a presley spawn, but he's proven his little guys can swim. he's knocked up his child bride, alice, the former sushi waitress. kudos.

get ready for the wiez. pauly shore is back. tbs has signed on to air at least 10 episodes of an upcoming reality show in which shore tries to revamp his mother's famous stand-up venue, the comedy store. the first pitch was to have shore and stephen baldwin in a biosphere, but that had already been done.

jennifer lopez pulled a lindsay lohan. she's called in sick and will be skipping the london premiere of shall we dance. her illness has also caused her to cancel her european tour. could it be morning sickness?

liv tyler proved yesterday that the only thing cuter than a baby is a baby in a snuggly. milo sure is adorable. and his mom's not half bad either.

p. diddy's facing some legal woes again. but at least this time there's no gun involved. he's been sued by random house over a $300k advance that they gave him for a memoir that he never completed. we imagine diddy stopped writing when he got to the j. lo chapter. he's still heartbroken over the loss of that ass.

jessica simpson may be heading to puffy for legal advice as she may soon be sued too. she had signed on for a fitness video, but the company involved, speedfit, did not want her to include her trainer, michael alexander, in the video. bad choice, speedfit. if alexander got jessica looking this good, we'd certainly be interested in what he had to say. jessica will duet with country music legend, willie nelson on the soundtrack for her film, dukes of hazzard. willie plays uncle jesse in the movie.

get out your barfbag. rod stewart learned that he had won his first grammy while having sex. there you go, cough it all up now.

madonna went out in her usual homeless chic style the other day in london. the pop princess plans on changing her sound again with her next album. she has been inspired by the darkness and franz ferdinand and will play guitar throughout much of the record.

we think we might know the reason that destiny's child singer, kelly rowland has "postponed" her wedding to dallas cowboy, roy williams. when he proposed to her, he asked if she would be his husband. could it have been a freudian slip?

did brad pitt stick it to april florio or not? he says no, but she says he tried. brad claims he never even met the model/actress, but photos in this week's us weekly show that they were together in greece. florio accuses pitt of trying to kiss her and says that he spoke of angelina jolie "like she was a goddess". this is proof that the hottest guys have no game. if you're trying to score, you don't go talking about another woman, brad.

meanwhile, vince vaughn has gone public to defend the honor of his pal, jennifer aniston. he claims that the pictures of them that us weekly published last week were merely depicting an innocent business meeting. "people wanna try to sell magazines," vaughn said. "you can't take it personal that's just their job."

ben affleck and jennifer garner are just like us. they eat at baja fresh, they buy their undergarments at old navy and they cover their faces while they're out in public.

though he's usually the slighted sidekick in the movies, jeremy piven has landed the babe in real life. he's dating vanessa marcil, formerly of "beverly hills, 90210" and now of "las vegas". the two were inseparable at a heineken party the other night.

wait, we thought paris dumped paris. the ny daily news is reporting that paris hilton is possibly engaged to greek shipping heir, paris lastis. he supposedly proposed using the age-old ring in the chocolate souffle technique. she just couldn't let nicole have the spotlight for once, could she?

better download those stills while they're still online. maggie gyllenhaal has vowed never to do a nude scene again after her latest trials filming shall not want. come on, maggie. nudity is what got you noticed in the first place. where would you be without secretary?

elisha cuthbert bundles up while doing a beach photo shoot. her double bathrobes give her a sort of virgin mary next door look.

2005-02-15T15:47:00.000-05:00

this week hart would like to provide you with britpoppa's guide to fashion week. no, we weren't there. some of the lines we trash might have been gorgeous in person. we'll never know. the closest we ever come to designer clothes is browsing on ebay. so without further ado, here are our picks for best and worst of the runway.

actually, here's some further ado. we noticed some trends for fall 2005 that you might like to be aware of. and we're not talking about tips like "knits will be key for an updated look". nah, we're not that detail oriented. plus, the galleries at elle.com don't really give you much of a clue when it comes to fabrics. here's the bare bones. if you want to be stylish in september, be sure to be drab. blacks, greys and browns were everywhere (which might have made some of these lines blend together for us). these hues were favored by marc jacobs (usually so keen on color), calvin klein, bill blass, narisco rodriguez and ralph lauren, among others. also trendy was the prada look. many designers pretty much took the clothes off miuccia's racks. at least, it seemed that way to us. prada thieves included oscar de la renta, vera wang and derek lam. we love prada, though. so it's fine by us.

hooray for roland mouret's throwback collection. it was very 30s/40s and reminded us of zac posen's debut. also lovely: jill stuart, dkny and peter som.

we hate ashish's cosby sweaters. some of the rest of the collection was decent, but the cosby look made us feel as if a rubix cube had just vomited on us. also ick: donna karan, as four, diesel.

we haven't been crazy for monique lhuillier's gem stone-necked gowns, but we adored the fall collection. the colors were wonderful and rich. on our wish list as well: alice roi, proenza schouler and camilla staerk.

nicole miller's line was nice, if you like dressing like your new age mother. more ugh: alexandre herchcovitch, lela rose and matthew williamson.

we're giving tuleh the benefit of the doubt. even though there was so wretched camouflage, there were also lovely victorian pieces. bonus pretty: vivienne tam, michael kors and anna sui.

eww! who put that hot topic shopper on the runway. we did not like betsey johnson's line at all. gag us with a spoon. extra barf: lela rose, emma cook and bora asku. maybe we're boring, but we don't particularly like avant garde. it's unwearable.

2005-02-15T00:05:00.000-05:00

we were devastated when we checked the yahoo news front page this morning and saw that no celebrity couples have announced that they got married last night. pitiful. demi moore was photographed on sunday wearing a hideous ring on her left hand that we can only assume means she's engaged to kelso, though. either that or they've both totally punk'd us.

ashley olsen is calling in the lawyers again. she's expected to announce a lawsuit against the national enquirer for a cover story they ran last week that claims she is involved in a drug scandal. the alleged scandal actually involves ash's boyfriend, scott sartiano. we all know mary-kate is the druggie, anyway.

greenwich village, say goodbye to gwyneth paltrow. she's put up her $8 million townhouse for sale and is now looking for a more manageable apartment. it's hard work keeping track of a baby and a brownstone.

lindsay lohan's played a plastic in the movies and now she's going to become plastic in real life. mattel has announced that it has created a lindsay lohan doll that will be on the shelves in july. the $30 toy comes with her own velvet rope. defamer has a picture of the monstrosity.

turns out it was orlando bloom's crazy filming schedule for the pirates of the caribbean sequels that caused his split with kate bosworth. she had hoped to be married in june, but he was busy with the movies. we hear you, orlando. we'd pick johnny depp over kate too.

oh, how sweet. nick lachey and jessica simpson had a perfectly timed kiss in a supermarket parking lot this weekend. no way it was just a physical way to deny those rumors they're splitting up.

speaking of getting physical, it seems like jessica's little sister ashlee isn't taking after her and saving herself for marriage. apparently, last summer, daddy simpson was enraged to discover little ashlee getting busy in jessica's tourbus with ryan cabrera. could this be the real reason behind their split?

steve bing has gotten the boot. the film producer who fathered elizabeth hurley's child is a free man again. he's been dumped by nicole kidman after four months of dating. sources claim the split is a result of bing's anti-marriage ideology, but maybe he's not a fan of the boob job.

this a big step down from cameron diaz. matt dillon, the m.i.a. actor whose brother is on "entourage", is dating one of the ladies on the latest season of "the apprentice", tara. he's got jungle fever.

if your singing style is more pyschedlic than sappy, there just might be a reality show for you. "search for the pearl" is a new show that plans to find the next janis joplin. the winner will tour with bands that joplin played with and will also take another little piece of her legacy.

dj am: check out this 97-pound babe i scored! she weighs about as much as one of my old butt cheeks. nicole: if you ask me one question about paris, i'll kill you.

drea de matteo has a little bit of portia derossi in her. it turns out the "sopranos" star has had her fair share of lesbian flings. maybe if they used this idea on "joey", the show wouldn't be so awful.

joss stone may be climbing the ladder to mainstream success, but she has a lot more to do before she's satisfied with herself. on her to acquire list: a brit, a grammy, an oscar, a white poodle and a baby. hey joss, we're pretty sure you can afford that poodle by now.

parker posey will serve as a guest judge during the finale of "project runway" next week. we wonder if she'll still have that crazy poodle hair from hurlyburly.

julia stiles isn't studying art history at columbia, but something tells us she's been getting a lot of art lessons lately. she's dating nyc artist, jonathan cramer and was seen snuggling up with him at joe's pub on friday night.

sarah jessica parker doesn't look like she borrowed from the gap's spring collection for this outfit. someone, quick, throw some red paint on her!

2005-02-14T16:22:00.000-05:00

valentine's day, 2001. it was a day to remember. okay, maybe not for us. if we recall correctly, we were a little heart-broken around that time. but nonetheless, it's worth reminiscing over.

here are the sweet nothings that hollywood's love birds were whispering about four years ago today:

despite receiving her first oscar nomination for you can count on me, laura linney wished she was still a stage actress. she didn't win that oscar in 2001, but this year she has another chance with kinsey.

johnny depp stood up his chocolat co-star, juliette binoche at the london premiere of their film, leaving her to wait outside in the cold for the brooding actor. these days, johnny usually shows to his premieres, but you never know what's going to come out of his mouth.

russell crowe released an album with his band, 20 odd foot of grunts, that included a song about jodie foster. while crowe's album didn't go on to sell many copies, it was still a good year for the actor. he took home the oscar the following month.

on february 14, 2001:

rob thomas turned 29.

jules asner blew out 33 candles.

kevyn aucoin (r.i.p.) turned 39.

meg tilly turned 41.

james eckhouse celebrated his 46th birthday.

tim buckley would have turned 54.

gregory hines (r.i.p. aussi) turned 55.

alan parker and carl bernstein turned 57.

michael bloomberg turned 59.

2005-02-14T14:28:00.000-05:00

this gal's got it all: a hot man, a hit show and green bra sticking out of her top. do you know who should have opted for the double-sided tape instead of this fashion blunder? if so, leave your guess in the comments section and come back wednesday night for the reveal.

2005-02-14T00:30:00.000-05:00

penelope cruz (at right) has become the latest celebrity to rip off kate moss's signature bohemian style, even down to her pose. the most notable kate copy-cat is sienna miller (at left). speaking of kate, here's more contradicting reports of her ongoing romance with druggie rocker, pete doherty. pete may have had to go cold turkey on the heroin at his rehab center, but they allowed him conjugal visits. the mirror reports that during one such visit, moss agreed to marry doherty this summer. meanwhile, the sun is reporting that moss dumped doherty over the phone during a heated argument. which story is actually true? the world will never know.

guess brad pitt doesn't mind those photographs that us weekly published of jennifer aniston out with vince vaughn. he threw her a 36th birthday party this past weekend at their beverly hills home. guests included mel gibson, courteney cox-arquette and gwen stefani. vince was nowhere in sight.

cbs's "joan of arcadia" may be ailing, but its star, amber tamblyn has just reached an important milestone on the road to true celebrity. she recently obtained an extension on a restraining order for her first stalker! the man reportedly broke into her trailer and left her threatening messages.

if you haven't heard enough dish from superhead, she's getting ready to give you some more. superhead, aka karrine steffans, recently went public about her sex romps with usher, but she's just signed a book deal to reveal more. jay-z, ja rule and vin diesel will all be covered in the upcoming book with harpercollins. vin diesel? isn't he gay?

you can finally stop envying jane fonda's physique. we know you've been crying yourself to sleep over your inability to achieve her amazing figure since you first saw barbarella, but it turns out fonda has a secret. she battled bulimia for 35 years. could paris hilton also be a fan of the scarf and barf technique? rumors from the set of "the simple life" seem to indicate that she is.

is it just us or does nicky hilton look a little hungover at her lunch last thursday in west hollywood? either that or her louis vuitton bag is filled with bricks. nicky, what happened to your rainbow assortment of balenciagas?

sienna miller won't let anyone stand in the way of a good time, not even her fiance, jude law. despite the fact that law sent her several text messages urging her to head home, she continued to party the night away after saturday's bafta awards in london. maybe her wild ways, and not the fact that both law and miller have sisters who plan to wed this year, are the reason behind their decision to push back their wedding date.

kate bosworth and orlando bloom don't seem to be fans of the clean break. they were recently spotted kissing over dinner at chateau marmont. not another on-again, off-again couple. we can't keep up!

teen girls in search of the perfect prom dress received quite a surprise when they tried to reach one of the websites listed in both ym's your prom and teen prom magazine. it turns out the url in one of the mag's advertisements was actually for a porn site. on the bright side, perhaps the girls learned some important lessons for post-prom.

one of janet jackson's fans is suing her because of a security malfunction. she had invited the fan to join her in the vip area at nyc hot spot, marquee, but when he tried to pass her a note, her security guards choked him and kicked him out of the club. the angry fan is seeking $120 million.

mariah carey looked positively frightening as a bride on the set of her new video. word is that the vid will feature a sequence eerily similar to the party scenes in eyes wide shut. let's hope mariah isn't one of the masked ladies. puke.

is matthew perry back on the bottle again? we mean the pill bottle. the "friends" star was recently hospitalized for an adverse reaction to the prescription drugs he's been taking. perry was in rehab for addiction to prescription drugs in 1997 and 2001. could the adverse reaction actually be addiction? hmmm...

anyone who watched the grammy's last night knows that jamie foxx can sing (or at least he thinks he can). turns out foxx is planning his own album - big surprise - and seems to be clive davis's latest secret weapon. expect his debut sometime next year. check out the full list of grammy winners here.

just in time to address her marriage's naysayers, britney spears has issued another "letter of truth" to her fans. in this one, she states, "i fall more and more in love with kevin everyday" and gives debra messing's the wedding date her seal of approval. stereogum has the whole thing for your reading pleasure. if brit's marriage is indeed doing well, we think we know why. she supposedly has a bizarre condition where she needs to eat lots of carbs, causing her to gain weight. to eliminate the chubs, her doctor has insisted she and kevin have sex like rabbits (via oh no they didn't).

russell crowe's prima donna antics have shelved his latest film, eucalyptus, with nicole kidman. apparently crowe and the film's director, jocelyn moorhouse, were suffering from creative differences.

even nicole kidman's mother is trying to sneak a peek and determine whether or not her daughter's had a recent boob job. the sweet aussie actress took her mum out for a day at the opera.

marc anthony is proving to be a backseat driver in jennifer lopez's career. just before she debuted her collection, sweetface, anthony was changing the music and the order of the outfits, upsetting ceo, andy hilfiger. we'll see how long jennifer, who normally wears the pants in her relationships, will put up with this kind of behavior. check out pics from her runway show here.

vegan hip hop groundbreaker and entrepreneur, russell simmons is no chicken when it comes to speaking his mind. he's calling attention to the practices of kentucky fried chicken, claiming they are "grossly inhumane". we find the way his wife, kimora, pimps out her children for baby phat is equally inhumane. joining simmons in his crusade against kfc are the beastie boys. guess tibet proved too difficult an issue to resolve.

elisa's headlines:

there's a reason katie holmes has been spotted all over nyc lately; she's just bought an apartment there. reps claim katie's new york move hasn't affected her engagement to chris klein, though.

how sweet, in between hitting on numerous ladies at the espn superbowl party, nick lachey took a minute to call his wife, jessica simpson. we're touched.

drew barrymore has ditched her morals in order to claim a spot on the cover of vogue. she ended her long-time feud with anna wintour over the magazine's use of fur.

it seems nicole richie has been engaged to her boyfriend, dj am for more than just a week. she's been wearing her engagement ring since last september, but waited to break the news until she got her parents' approval.

daryl hannah's biological clock is ticking really loudly these days. she's been getting fertility treatments in an attempt to become pregnant. if hannah became pregnant today, she would be 65 when her child turned 20.

"oh nick, cut it out! you know i'd be on your drumline anytime!" christina milian cracks up on her cell phone while shopping in beverly hills. could her boyfriend, nick cannon, be on the other end of the line?

2005-02-13T21:32:00.000-05:00

britpoppa's got a new gig writing at the bosh, a gossip and entertainment news site. can you believe it? gossip and entertainment news? it's so completely out of character for us. check it out.

2005-02-13T20:30:00.000-05:00

looks like christina aguilera's "voice within" told her it was time to get married. she's engaged to her boyfriend of two years, music exec, jordan bratman. he must have been super excited for a "dirrty" wedding night, as he couldn't wait until valentine's day to propose and instead popped the question on friday night. can you blame him? "nobody wants to be lonely" after all.

2005-02-11T16:35:00.000-05:00

britpoppa is proposing a new game: six degrees of ashley olsen, in which one must try to connect any front row fall fashion show attendee to ashley olsen. in this case we go from sophia bush to ashley, through a lovely link of actresses popular with the teen set. here we go. "one tree hill's" sophia bush sat next to "dawson creek's" katie holmes at vera wang. katie sat with "my so-called life's" claire danes at calvin klein. and claire sat with "so little time's" ashley olsen at zac posen. now you try! if you come up with any great links, leave them in the comments section. and no, they don't have to actually include ashley. just use any celeb you want.

2005-02-11T14:57:00.000-05:00

is it just us or does this gown from vera wang's latest collection look a little eerily like the marc jacobs dress that liv tyler wore to the golden globes last year? we liked vera's collection even though, aside from the marc jacobs rip off, it was one of the many prada rip offs for fall 2005. we'll provide our full review of new york fashion week in a future hart.

meanwhile, we're so disappointed that wendy pepper stole austin scarlett's rightful spot on the catwalk in "project runway". she is only marginally talented and her time would be better spent learning how to properly apply makeup than trying to become the next nicole miller (whose fall collection was a big ugh, by the way). we're now rooting for dark horse, jay mccarroll to collect the big prize. he's a longshot with kara saun to deal with, though.

2005-02-11T11:49:00.001-05:00

what is wrong with jennifer aniston and courteney cox-arquette? they're right next to one of the cutest babies on the planet, coco, and they're looking at something else. insane.

could justin timberlake be ready to walk down the aisle with his "senorita", cameron diaz on monday? the tabloids have been tipped that the pair "are going to be in las vegas early next week 'for something'", according to the ny post. maybe they just want to catch a performance of the blue man group.

this just in: lindsay lohan has been to the hospital yet again. she had to have chest and sinus x-rays and is feared to have bronchitis. girl must have caught something pretty nasty from johnny knoxville.

poor nicole kidman. in addition to recovering from her recent boob job, now she has this to deal with. an australian judge has lifted the restraining order that she got against two photographers who followed her in a high-speed car chase and placed a bug in her home. what's next? a contract with bongo jeans?

looks like courtney love won't be stocking up on soap on a rope. she's gotten three years probation instead of a jail sentence for attacking a woman with a bottle.

since we're posting pictures of celebrity babies, here's a shot of colin farrell's little monkey, james. oh my god, we love him!

leonardo dicaprio endured some bashing when he recently went to the supermarket. when a woman ahead of him in line saw his picture on the cover of a magazine, she said to him, "there he is again, that leonardo dicaprio. don't you wish he'd just disappear?" she didn't recognize him in his hat and sunglasses. oops! as if that wasn't bad enough, dicaprio had to get the pool man to come in early when singer, michael buble puked in his pool. eww!

quentin tarantino has definitely lost his edge. last year, despite releasing the excellent kill bill: vol. 2, he insisted on serving as a guest judge on the insipid "american idol". now he is in talks to direct an episode of "csi". quentin, stick to the sexual pop culture banter and gruesome violence. it's your thing, man.

flavor flav proved he doesn't mess around when it comes to the safety of his woman. on wednesday, his gal pal, brigitte nielsen began to hyperventilate in her car. flav immediately jumped out and flagged down an ambulance. as the paramedics tended to nielsen, he signed autographs like a true reality star.

hilary and haylie duff have very wisely decided that they're too young to have kids yet. instead, they ooh'ed and ah'ed over cute pets the other day.

we're really torn up about having to report this one to you. minnie driver will not be performing at the oscars after all. instead, beyonce will sing her song from phantom of the opera in addition to the songs from polar express and les choristes. beyonce is proving her true diva-ness as she asked andrew lloyd webber to adjust the song to meet her standards.

jennifer aniston, it's okay to keep wearing your wedding ring. brad has NOT been hanging around that slutty model, april florio. she's actually been seeing another married man instead. and this other chick he got ice cream with? she's just his assistant.

jc chasez isn't one to get all bent out of shape over relationships gone awry. he's moved on from his ex-girlfriend, eva longoria, and onto fashion designer jessie della femina. the two were apparently making out after the joseph abboud fashion show last friday. femina must not have been too impressed, though. she denies anything happened between them.

arthur miller, the playwright responsible for your favorite hollywood films like the crucible and focus has died of heart failure at 89. it's cool, though. artie lived a full life. he got to bang marilyn monroe for chrissake.

gwyneth paltrow is taking the michael jackson approach to bringing little apple out in public. in fact, i hear her middle name is blanket.

still working on your homemade britney spears and kevin federline wedding album? gawker has some shots you'll definitely want to include. we miss the brown hair, brit. have kev pick up some nice and easy this weekend, okay?

sweet justice. it turns out paris hilton doesn't get everything she wants. she asked to attend oscar de la renta's fall show, but he declined her an invitation. his rep said, "she is not a customer of ours, nor is she a friend of the de la rentas." ooh, burn.

bernie mac's been hiding a secret under those flashy suits he likes to wear. he's a long-time sufferer of sarcoidosis, an autoimmune disease that causes tissue inflammation. mac's tissues aren't the only things on fire, that dude can spit out a red hot zinger like nobody's business.

leeza gibbon's husband, stephen meadows, has filed for divorce from the former "entertainment tonight" correspondent. we can't imagine why. it must be wonderful to be married to someone so endlessly perky.

kate hudson took son, ryder out on the town the other day. someone is ready for his first haircut. that little guy is looking a little rough.

2005-02-10T21:28:00.000-05:00

valentine's day is coming up and all we can think about is chocolate. luscious, rich, delicious chocolate. spead it all over us. hell, we're even listening to music about candy right now. but we're not greedy. so here you go, have a couple tasty tracks. share them with the one you love.

craig david - what's your flava?
suzanne vega - caramel